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“Carter?” Ford crossed the room to where I was sitting and joined me on the couch. “What happened last night?”
I shook my head. “Nothing that should have.”
Miles and Jay came and sat by me as well, and Worth moved to a spot on the floor in front of me.
Ford rested a hand on my arm. “No matter what Miles might say about charging in and using his great powers to solve everything, we’re here to be your friends first, and then to find a way to rid the world of this whole network of dangerous men.”
I knew how lucky I was to have friends like this who not only were willing to go into battle for me in their own ways, but who also truly cared. I knew if I wanted to spill everything, to tell them how I really felt about Matteo, how part of me had never stopped wanting him, how part of me had never stopped hoping there was more to the story even while I wanted to rip him apart because he was the lowest form of traitor, my friends would listen. They would hold me if I cried, but I couldn’t go there. I couldn’t let myself break down like that. I was afraid if I did, I wouldn’t be able to come back to myself. I wouldn’t be able to put the pieces together and fight like I needed to, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to let Matteo go when the time came.
Are you sure you could now?
I have to.
Do you? How will he handle himself out there with no focus, no purpose? He needs that as badly as you do, even if his morals don’t make the purpose as noble as yours.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t compromised on plenty of shit while working for Miles, but I had a code, and I didn’t break it. Matteo probably had a fucked-up code of his own, but I didn’t how much Matteo had left of himself after nearly a year with the cartel.
“If you want to talk about it, we’re here for you,” Worth said.
I sighed. “I know, but I can’t. Not now. Maybe later.” I hoped to hell not, but I couldn’t guarantee working with Matteo wasn’t going to break me.
“We’re going to fix this,” Miles assured me.
We could most likely end the cartel with X behind us and no government rules to get in our way, but no one could fix what Matteo had done to my heart. I wasn’t sure anyone could fix him either, no matter what the truth about his feelings really were.
“I think we should contact X.”
Worth frowned. “Who the hell is X?”
“The man who got us involved in this bullshit to start with,” Ford said.
Miles frowned. “He’s a very powerful former Army Ranger who runs a vigilante group.”
“Among other important projects,” Ford said.
Worth frowned. “What does that mean? You’re not supposed to keep secrets from me. Just because I’m shit with weapons and would rather seduce a man than fight him, it doesn’t mean I don’t get to be in on things.”
Worth was right. He was as loyal as Ford and Miles, and he was going to be neck deep in this like the rest of us.
“He’s Xavier Carrington.”
“The philanthropist? One of the few men in the country richer than me. The senator’s brother?”
“Yes, he’s all of that on the surface, but he’s also X.”
“So he’s the reason you tried to buy the warehouse that led to us taking down the NYC arm of the cartel?” Worth asked.
“That’s right.”
“And now you want to see if he can get you in more trouble?”
“No. I want to call in a favor and get this cartel taken out once and for all.”
Miles nodded. “So call him.”
I pulled out my phone and used a number I’d hoped not to need again.
“Hello, Carter. I’ve been expecting a call from you.”
