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“Leo had the sense to get the hell out.”
“And you don’t?”
He snarled at me. “If you think I’m working for them anymore after this is finished, you’re dead wrong.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I haven’t exactly been working on future life plans. I’m just hoping to be alive when this is over.”
Carter nodded, but his expression confused me. Somehow, he looked disappointed, like he wanted me to have a plan. Did he want that plan to be staying here with him? That was what I wanted, but my chances of him accepting it were slim to none. “You really want to know what happened? How the CIA got to me?”
“Fuck yes, I do. It’s a little late, but it’s better than never.”
I wasn’t sure why I was holding back. The CIA was done with me. I could either go on the run or go fully in with Carter and his friends. Since that was what X wanted from me too, I really didn’t have a choice. Why did I think Carter would hate me more when he knew I’d done it all for him? That wasn’t logical, yet somehow I knew my confession was going to make everything worse, not better, no matter what I told him. “I did it to save you.”
His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he schooled his face. “From the cartel? They were getting ready to move on us just like I suspected?”
I shook my head. “No. Someone wanted you implicated for treason. They had connections among the top brass, and they were making plans for an investigation where they were going to brand you as a traitor.”
Carter let go of my wrists and stepped back. “What? Why would someone…?”
“No matter how much I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to answer that. Someone in the CIA got wind of the plot to destroy you and a few other SEALs. They used it as leverage to get me to do their dirty work. If I took on their mission, they would use their own connections to make sure the investigation never happened.”
Carter stared at me, no longer trying to hide his shock. His face was pale, and I wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay on his feet much longer. “Come sit.” He let me lead him to the couch.
“You’re telling me….” He shook his head. “No. This is insane.”
“Someone wanted you implicated as a traitor. Most likely they ultimately wanted you dead.”
“Fuck, and you….” The pain in his eyes made me want to pull him into my arms, but I wasn’t sure he’d accept comfort from me.
“I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
“Why?”
I raised my brows. “Do you really think I’m that much of a monster?”
“No.” I’d only seen Carter look like this one other time, like his whole world had been turned upside down, and that was when he realized I’d joined forces with the cartel.
He started to stand, but I took hold of his arm and pulled him back down. “Don’t stand up yet. You don’t look so good.”
“I wasn’t expecting…. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I swore I’d never tell you why I left. I didn’t want you to know, to feel obligated or….”
“You fucking bastard! Why would you think that was better than you running off, making me think….”
“It was the easiest way to keep you alive.”
“Someone could have come after me anyway. If they wanted me taken out, there were so many other ways to do it.”
“I was assured you’d be protected. I checked on you, made sure. I knew you’d made it back to camp and had been airlifted out.”
“You could have talked to me about it. I would never have asked you to sacrifice yourself.”
“That’s not how the CIA works. You think they gave me time to think about it, time to go consult with you? And I didn’t sacrifice myself. I’m standing right here, healthy as a horse, no thanks to you.”
I expected that jab to make him angry. I wanted something to wipe the look of shock and horror off his face. Instead, he dropped his head into his hands and pressed the base of his palms against his eyes. “I don’t fucking know what to think.”
