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“I told you.”
The sounds he made as he kept eating had my cock stirring again. I’d been certain I was completely done for at least several hours. “Keep that up and I’m kidnapping you and taking you somewhere private.”
“Jesus, haven’t you had enough.”
“Of you? Never.”
It didn’t matter how many times we stole moments or even the occasional evening over the next few months. I never tired of Carter, of his body, of the way it felt when I kissed him, or the look on his face when he came. I even let him fuck me, and I didn’t let anyone do that. I sucked him off and reveled in it. I learned the taste of every inch of his body. I woke up thinking of him, and I dreamed of him at night. I wanted to take him away so the two of us could have some true privacy, but nothing about our situation—the jungle, the cartel, the constant danger—could prevent us from spending time together. Until it all came to a horrifying end.
I learned Carter was in danger from more than the cartel. A high-ranking CIA agent visited me and gave me a depressing choice: I could sell my soul to them and Carter would stay safe, or I could stay here and his whole world will come crashing down. On my own, I wouldn’t have the resources to save him, so I did what I had to do.
One afternoon in the heat of the day, with sweat dripping down my face, I slipped into the jungle and headed toward the cartel’s headquarters. I’d told Carter I’d learned about a break in their defenses where we could potentially sneak into the compound to get intel or make an attack. He’d tried to convince me to take him along, but I assured him I could handle it alone.
In the middle of my negotiation with two high-ranking cartel members, one of them held up a hand. “Did you hear that?”
I shook my head, but I had. Someone was out there. I prayed it wasn’t Carter, but my prayers went unanswered.
“Come out before we start shooting,” one of the men yelled.
Carter ran, but the man caught him and dragged him back to the clearing where we’d been talking.
The way he looked at me—like he hated me—caused my stomach to churn. “What the fuck is going on?”
“I can’t help you now.” Saying those words was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I might not have told Carter how I felt about him, but I’d shown him with my body. And now I was going to ruin any chance of him loving me back. I was going to make him think I was the worst kind of monster.
Carter stared at me, eyes wide “Why?”
The man standing beside me ordered his fellow soldier to search for any other onlookers, then he focused on me. “This is your kill. Go ahead and take care of him.” I knew it was a test of my loyalty. I was going to have to shoot Carter.
I forced myself to look Carter in the eyes. His face was pale, and he looked like he might vomit. I wanted so badly to tell him none of this was real, but that would be a death sentence for both of us.
“Go ahead,” other man said. “Finish him off.”
The horror on Carter’s face as I raised my gun took my breath. I had one chance to make this right. It was going to hurt him. It was going to ruin any chance I had with him, but if my aim was true, if all the skill I’d developed as a marksman stayed with me, he would survive. As I aimed, Carter took a step back. Fuck, I couldn’t do this with a moving target.
“Don’t,” I called out. “You’re defeated. Take it like a man.” I looked at him, hoping somehow he would know what was in my heart. Then I shot him.
He fell to the ground as blood poured from the wound.
“Give him another through the head,” the man beside me demanded. “We need to be sure he’s dead.”
I shook my head. “He knows a hell of a lot. Let’s take him back with us and see if he lives long enough to give us any information.”
He reluctantly agreed. I tied Carter’s hands and feet and carried him as the man led me to a filthy cell.
I convinced the cartel’s man to go get his leader and leave me to see if I could get anything out of Carter. While he was gone, I cut away Carter’s bonds. As soon as he could move, he tried to fight back.
“No. You need to get out of here.”
“You’re letting me go?”
“Yes.” I told him the safest path to back to camp. “Save yourself and everyone else.”
“Why?” he asked.
I shook my head. “You don’t have long. You’ve got to go now.” He stumbled away, a hand pressed to his wound as blood dripped to the ground. I sat there, fighting back the tears that stung my eyes as I gave myself a tranquilizer shot. I was damn glad I kept one on me at all times. The cartel leaders would be furious, but at least I had a reasonable explanation for how Carter had escaped.
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