Page 100 of That Geeky Feeling


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I shake my head against him. “No.” I push myself away and find my balance. My foot hurts, but I’ve dealt with worse. “It’s not your fault. This is all on me.”

I swipe my fingers under my eyes to erase the tears. “I knew this would happen.” I shake my head in despair at myself. “How did I let this get so out of control? I’ve always known I can’t be with you. I’ve always known Max would punish me for it.”

Elliot looks as upset and shocked as if I’d slapped him across the face.

“Charlotte, don’t do this. We can work it out.” His eyes plead with me. “Together.”

I reach into my purse for the half-used tissue I stuffed in there earlier. “No, we can’t. You’re amazing. I adore you. You know that. But you can’t fix this with some code, or a new hard drive or a…a…whatever it is you put in the Pac-Man machine that time.”

“A G07 flyback transformer.”

“Sure. That.” I blow my nose then take a deep, shaky breath. “You know I want to be an executive at Harvest Enterprises one day. You know it’s my dream. So, I need to get this project manager job. And it’s obvious I can’t do that and have you.”

Elliot sits on the trunk he was trying to get me to rest upon a minute ago. “So if it comes down to the job or me, you pick the job?”

“Argh,” I cry, throwing back my head and gazing up into the sun-dappled leaves. “No, Elliot. No, I don’t.” I look right at him. “I pick me.”

He rests his elbows on his knees and slumps forward, his fingers sinking into his thick brown hair.

“But I pick you too,” he says to the ground.

“This is my time, remember?” I ask the top of his head. “If I give up on myself now, I will have let myself down. And I’m not going to do that. If it means I have to walk away from the man I love to chat with, the man who makes me laugh, the man who turns my body into a writhing mass of sexual wildness I never knew existed… then so be it, I have to walk away.”

I feel like the guy who had his arm trapped under a rock and had to cut it off to save his own life. Except what I’m doing is ripping out my own heart. It hurts like hell, but I have to do it to get to where I want. I haven’t worked this hard to get to the brink of my dream job to let anything stand in its way now.

The start of another sob rumbles deep in my chest. I choke it down and, being careful of my foot, slowly turn to walk away.

Elliot reaches for one of his cuffs.

I stop midturn. “Don’t you dare.” I stare at his wrist and point at it, my finger like a freshly sharpened dagger.

“What?” He undoes the button.

“I know what you’re doing.” My chest heaves.

“What?” His face screws up with adorable puzzlement as he rolls back the cuff.

“Don’t you play that game with me again.” The lump makes a reappearance in my throat.

“Charlotte, I don’t know what you mean.” He folds the sleeve another notch.

I fight against the prickling behind my eyes. “Don’t you go flashing your sexy-as-fuck forearms at me.”

“My what?” Despite the awful circumstances he lets out a tiny chuckle.

“You’re the smartest person I know, Elliot.” He blurs as my eyes fill up. “So don’t play clueless with me.”

“I have literally not the foggiest clue what you’re saying.” He seems as baffled as he is upset.

“I remember.” I waggle my finger at him as all the fight drains out of me, my voice catches, and a tear rolls down each cheek.

“Remember what?” he asks, undoing the other cuff and starting to work on that one.

“I only pretended I didn’t,” I choke out.

“You pretended you didn’t what? I have literally no clue what you’re talking about.”

I take an unattractive giant sniff and wipe my face. “Remember,” I say, my voice as limp as my body.

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