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But his hand on my shoulder halts my brain from holding any rational thought.
I stop walking and turn toward him, half thinking I’ll tell him about how torn I feel. Now is the time to explain why nights like this feel too frivolous in my life right now. He’ll understand. We’re both weighed down by family commitments that are bigger than our momentary lust. Even if the momentary lust feels better than anything I’ve experienced.
“Jax, I—"
He doesn’t give me time to articulate anything. His finger traces the shape of my lips, and he watches it, mesmerized.
My worried thoughts vanish. I’m equally mesmerized.
The fraction of a moment when I had the power to fight this has vanished.
“Mostly, I’m just so fucking happy she set me free, so I had the chance to end up right here.” His finger continues its slow perusal of my face, as though he’s memorizing every curve. He smiles when his knuckle brushes across my cheek. He shakes his head. “I look at you and I forget to breathe. I forget everything. And it’s the one time in a day when I’m not bogged down by all the business shit, and I just feel…weightless.”
I feel weightless.
He kisses me, and my resistance crumbles. We’ve passed the point where we need words. It’s new. It feels different from any of my other sort-of relationships, and my heart pronounces it a point of no return, even as my useless brain tries to protest.
I’m falling for Jackson Corbett. Best-laid plans for only sleeping with the guy and walking away with my heart intact have failed miserably. And I’m not sure I mind.
ChapterTwenty-Nine
Jax
“Wait,what?” Hand on her forehead, Ruby sits up in bed. The covers are everywhere, and I take in the view of her smooth back with those long copper waves hanging over one shoulder.
She sounds upset or confused, so I reach up and lay a hand on her other shoulder, the bare one, and the sight of her lightly freckled skin makes me want to kiss each golden dot.
But she holds up a hand, stopping me. Which is unlike her.
Since we left the restaurant and tumbled through my front door last night, there’s been no stopping. No pausing. That red dress hit the floor faster than I could shut the front door, and we had the orgasms to prove it.
And I didn’t have regret after talking about Annabelle, even though the few things I shared probably don’t qualify as opening up for most people. For me, they do.
She understood that.
Now, the sight of her hand concerns me a little bit, but I give her space while she’s on the phone. I can tell it’s her sister, and I know how much she relies on Ruby.
I also know this is the first time that Ruby can spend the entire night at my house without creeping around in the early morning hours and driving home. Fiona has a sleepover with Trix, who’s taking tomorrow off to go to Stinson Beach.
Best laid plans. I’m worried about what’s happening with Ella, but I’m more worried about the toll it takes on Ruby, who never seems to get a break from people relying on her.
Sometimes, I’m tempted to find another nanny, so Fiona and I won’t be yet another pair who need something from Ruby. But Fiona loves her so much, and both of our lives have been so much better with Ruby in them that I don’t have the heart to change it up.
“Okay, no, of course you shouldn’t feel bad. I’m the one who feels bad. Why didn’t you let me know?” She hunches over, pulling farther away from me. I don’t like it, but I let her be. For now.
“I’ll come right now.”
My heart rate kicks up a notch. I can’t read between the lines, but something must be very wrong if Ruby’s going to race down to Berkeley. And selfishly, I want us to have this night together. I don’t know when we’ll get another chance.
“Stop arguing with me.” The volume of her voice notches up. “Do you really want to do this right now?”
I move to the side so I can see her face. Ruby has her eyes shut and her fingers pinching her temples. We didn’t get much sleep last night, and ordinarily, we’d both relish the exhaustion, casting each other secret glances and comparing whose dark circles were most unbecoming.
Mine, always mine. She couldn’t do a damn thing to make herself unbecoming.
Except that right now, the anguish on her face dims her usual exuberance, and it pinches deep within my chest. Her pain is my pain.
It’s what makes me certain I’ve never been in love before. And now that I know what it feels like, I’m floored by how deeply I’m in love with her.
