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I nod, unwilling to let go of her. Yet. “Okay. I’ll try.”
She lets out a loud sigh, and I release her just as Tim ambles back over and plops down on the bench. “You two good?”
“We’re good,” Ella says, leaning into him.
But the gears in my brain are clunking into place. “Actually, I could be better. El, do you have access to the ceramics studio?”
“Sure. Anytime. You want to throw some pots?”
I drain the remains of my coffee and nod. “I think I want to try.”
ChapterThirty-Five
Jax
Fiona sees it first—the candy-apple-red Fiat that gleams in the afternoon sun like a freshly picked berry. We’ve just returned from camp, and Fiona has just finished telling me how tired she is, but now she’s bouncing in the backseat like a kangaroo.
“She’s back!” my daughter shouts upon sighting Ruby’s car parked in front of our house. Nerves seize my chest. But they’re overwhelmed by the warm rush of feelings—hope, gratitude, love.
Ruby sits on our front porch with a bag and a box at her feet. Fiona doesn’t care about any of that as she jumps into Ruby’s waiting arms as soon as I open the door and pop her seatbelt. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, sweetie.” Ruby sweeps Fiona into her arms, squeezing her tight. Ruby’s hands cup Fiona’s little head to her chest, eyes closed, just breathing my daughter in.
The picture of the two of them together looks like a different kind of family portrait from the one hanging in my dad’s house. This is the kind of family that has my eyes welling, and I’m going to hang onto it with everything I’ve got.
Fiona doesn’t wait for me to unlock the front door of the house, so happy to see Ruby that she drags her by the hand around to the vineyard in back.
Ruby dashes with her but casts me a look over her shoulder. A smile, a wink. It’s enough to give me faith that she’s not here to collect her final paycheck and take off again. I reel my heart back from the precipice it’s been perched on for five days straight.
I bring Ruby’s bag and a very heavy box into the house and walk out the back door to find Ruby hiding and Fiona pretending not to see her behind a very small grapevine.
“Hey, Fi. Can you go upstairs and pick out three of your favorite books for us to read together later?”
“Now, Daddy?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay, fine, but Ruby, Iseeyou.”
She harumphs into the house to complete the task I know will take her at least a half hour. She has so many favorite books that it’s always a big decision to choose only three. “Actually, Daddy, I have a better idea. I’m going to work on my pop-up book.”
“Sounds good.” I have no idea what she even means, but Ruby is nodding like she does. And I’m desperate to get Ruby alone.
Ruby comes out from behind the vine and approaches me slowly. “Hi,” she says.
“Hi.”
I want to dispense with these niceties and kiss her for hours, but the tentative way she’s standing apart from me makes me cautious.
“I’m Ruby. I’m here to interview for the nanny job,” she says.
“Are we back to that? Because you already have the job. You don’t need to convince me of a damn thing.”
She tips her head toward the house, indicating I should follow her. “I want to show you something first. Come.”
Noticing the bag and the box on the kitchen table, she nods. “Thanks. Did you peek?”
“I would never.”
