AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah, not surprised people want to take your picture. You have a nice face. You could capitalize on it, you know. Sell calendars or whatever.”
He stares at his lap for a moment before reaching for my hand. “I didn’t think it would happen here. Sorry.”
I squint at him because he can’t be serious. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one who didn’t do a better job of keeping you out of the public eye when you’re supposed to be laying low. It’s not going to make you look like a saint if you’re out cavorting in Napa Valley.”
“Worth it.”
“What?”
“All the time I spend with you is worth the risk of ending up in someone’s social media feed. Yes, I might look like a jerk who’s vacationing in Napa when I should be making public apologies, but I’ll get to that on Monday. For now, any heat I suffer, any shit I take from my PR team is a small price to pay. You’re worth it. No question.”
My heart, which has already been slowly breaking in two, cracks open a little more for this man. And with the idea that he’ll be going back to his regular life tomorrow, I can’t keep out the feeling of sadness I’ve been fighting.
“I don’t want you to go,” I blurt. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. Not because I want to hide the truth but because it feels like I’m putting a burden on Colin by saying them.
The only noises I hear are the tires rolling quietly on the asphalt and my own breathing, which sounds like I’m sucking air through a snorkel underwater.
Not for the first time in my life, I wish for an edit button in the real world. All the prior times I wished I could take things back pale in comparison with how much I want to pull these words out of the atmosphere and replace them with white noise. Maybe Colin can figure out how to do this someday in his physics research, which he’ll be doing far, far away from me because I’m sure I’ve scared the hell out of him with my possessive neediness.
I don’t dare turn and look at him for fear of what I’ll see in his eyes—confusion, detachment, fright.
So I keep my eyes on the road, paying special attention to each crossroads, looking both ways at the stop signs, exaggerating my careful driving skills in a town I know like the back of my hand. Anything to avoid the disastrous aftermath of six words I shouldn’t have spoken.
“I…” I shake my head when he opens his mouth but has nothing to say. If I could bury my face in my hands, I would, but then I’d crash into something, and that would increase my mortification. Probably.
“Forget I said it.” The words rush out in a rescue mission to help him avoid having to make me feel better with his own carefully chosen words. “Just…can we forget it?” I make a quick circular motion with one hand. “Rewind. Erase. Whatever.”
“No, I don’t think I can.”
I exhale a frustrated breath. “Because you have a photographic memory. Or whatever. But just try, okay?”
“No, I mean, I don’t want to erase them. I have to go back to work, but I’d like to see you again. I know we haven’t talked about that, but I don’t feel like we’re finished. At least…I’m not, and I’d like to see where this goes.”
I’m about to turn onto the road that crosses through Napa to the main road where Buttercup Hill sits, but instead, I pull to the curb and shut off the ignition. Turning to Colin, I search his face for signs that I heard what I think I heard. He looks back at me, the barest of smiles playing on his lips.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I could drive down for dinner one night.”
He frowns and rubs a hand over his face, as though considering the reality of what I’m proposing. “That’s nearly a two-hour drive.”
“I know. I’m not saying I could do it every day, but sometimes, maybe.”
He looks a little less convinced than he did a moment ago. “I could work in the car and come up here.”
I consider whether this makes any sense at all. Honestly, it doesn’t. As much as I like him, it doesn’t.
He reaches for my chin and dusts one finger beneath it. “It’s not that crazy. We could try it. I want to try.”
“I know you said you don’t do relationships,” I remind him.
“I don’t. But I’d like to try one with you.”
My heart flutters in my chest, and I let out a shaky exhale. “You would?”
“Yes, but I might not be good at it. I don’t have a lot of practice, and there’s a lot at stake in my job. No room for errors, and so far, I haven’t made any.”
