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Nikki wondered what would become of her niece. There was something of the drifter about Juno, for she cared nothing for things or status and seemed to have no aspirations nor a shred of ambition. Maybe one day she would be ready to unleash herself onto the world. In the meantime, she walked people’s dogs while they were at work, pulled pints at the Neptune when they were short-staffed and did a bit of life-modelling at the college.
It drove Jess mad; she used to badger her endlessly to go on Britain’s Got Talent.
‘Don’t waste the gift you’ve been given!’ she would shout at her. But Juno would roll her eyes and shrug.
‘Over my dead body am I going on there,’ she would say.
‘You can’t wait for some big cheese to wander into the pub and give you a record deal. It’s not Fisherman’s Friends.’
‘I don’t want a record deal,’ said Juno. ‘If I did, I’d have one already.’
Jess didn’t understand. Nor did Nikki, deep down, but she did know that you shouldn’t push people into doing things. And actually, Juno seemed very happy, and wasn’t that the point? She brought joy to everyone, with her gentle nature. Baby Juno had been the saving of them all when she was born, especially Helen. A little bundle of hope.
Nikki was always transfixed when Juno sang, searching her face for a family resemblance. For the ghost of him was there, in the curve of her cheekbone, the light in her eyes, the half-smile she remembered so well. She felt her throat tighten, and turned away so no one could see the tears in her eyes.
The ghost of someone she had loved.
Twenty years, and sometimes the longing still hit her.
12
Then
Nikki was torn about going to the beach after lunch. It would seem churlish if she didn’t go, when she and Rik had agreed earlier that they would. He’d even brought his trunks and a towel. But whereas she’d been looking forward to it, now she was dreading it. Having Jess in tow made it an entirely different proposition. And Woody was coming too. It wouldn’t be like last week, when she’d had Rik to herself in a private paradise.
So it was with a heavy heart that she followed the other three down the steps. There were already a few people on the beach, a gang she recognised from Tawcombe who had obviously come to take advantage of the last of the summer sun. Someone had a barbecue on the go, and Bob Marley was booming out of a ghetto blaster. To anyone else, it was the perfect picture of youthful summer fun, but all Nikki could think about was the two of them lying on the rock together in the sun. That wasn’t going to happen today.
She tried not to show her disappointment. She didn’t want to look sulky and withdrawn next to ebullient Jess. Within moments, her sister had stripped down to her Wicked Weasel bikini – a few threads of fabric that left little to the imagination. With her wild dark hair and her sunbed tan, Jess always turned heads. She’d already flipped open a bottle of WKD, and was dancing to the mellow reggae, in full-on party mode.
Nikki spread out her towel on the sand and sat with her arms wrapped around her knees. She resigned herself to the fact that she couldn’t control what was going to happen, but she willed Rik to come and sit next to her. Of course, he didn’t. Instead, he followed Jess into the sea as Nikki watched from behind her sunglasses. Jess never went swimming these days, preferring her hair and make-up to stay pristine, but for some reason today she was all for leaping about in the waves like an extra from Baywatch, cavorting in front of Rik.
By the time they came out of the water, Woody had plonked himself next to her. Nikki tried not to be hostile, for he wasn’t to know her feelings for Rik, or that he was cramping her style. What could she say? Bugger off, I want Rik to sit next to me? After all, he was her dearest friend. The last thing Nikki wanted to do was hurt his feelings.
‘Rik’s invited us back to his boat.’ Jess emerged from the waves like a brunette Ursula Andress. ‘What do you two think? Or have you got plans?’ She raised her eyebrows suggestively.
‘I’m up for it,’ said Woody, who was so easy going he just went with whatever anyone wanted to do.
Nikki narrowed her eyes behind her glasses. Was Jess deliberately making it look as if she and Woody were a couple? She wouldn’t put it past her.
‘Sure,’ she said. She was longing to see the inside of The Lady Stardust, and to get a peep into who Rik was.
‘I don’t keep booze on board,’ said Rik. ‘So if you want a drink drink, you’ll have to stop at the mini-mart.’
‘Oh, we can do without drink,’ declared Jess airily, slinging a matey arm around his neck. ‘There’s nothing worse than watching everyone else get hammered around you.’
She’d ditched her bottle of WKD, Nikki noticed. Jess the chameleon, reading the signals, pretending to be something she wasn’t. She could be whatever you wanted her to be, if she wanted you.
They went back to Rik’s boat as the sun set. It was snug below deck, only just enough room for them all to squeeze around the table in the galley while Rik made them coffee. Nikki drank in all the details. He didn’t have much, for there was barely any space for personal stuff. A small row of paperbacks in French. A photo of his dad – shirtless on board The Lady Stardust, a glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other, as handsome as his son. She peeped into his cabin and imagined being curled up in there under the duvet.
Dream on, she told herself. Jess had spotted an acoustic guitar, and was urging him to play. To Nikki’s surprise Rik smiled, grabbed the guitar and led them all up on deck, where he serenaded them under the stars, singing ‘Forget Her’ by Jeff Buckley in a voice that was gruff and sweet. He seemed to be somewhere else when he sang and she wondered if he was thinking of someone who had brought him heartache.
‘Oh man,’ sighed Jess as he came to the end. ‘That’s it. You’re coming to the karaoke night. You’ll win hands down.’
‘I don’t really sing in public.’ Rik handed the guitar over to Jess for a go. ‘Your turn.’
With the moon shining above her, Jess gave a heart-rending version of Mazzy Star’s ‘Fade into You’, all dreamy vulnerability and innocence, her eyes half closed and a secret smile on her face as the night air played with her curls. Rik looked mesmerised. Nikki felt slightly sick. This was a masquerade.
At half past midnight, Woody stood up.
