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Helen nodded, trying to pretend she understood. ‘So what should I wear?’
‘White linen. Maybe a straw hat. Definitely a wicker basket.’ Jess waved a hand. ‘Don’t worry. You’ve got all the clothes you need and we can accessorise. Right. Here we go. Listen up.’
She began to read:
‘I’m a glamorous woman of a certain age (think Helen Mirren with a dash of Nigella in the kitchen) with a successful baking business. I’m also a chief fundraiser for our local lifeboat, a charity which is very close to my heart. I love going out on our family boat, The Shrimp, entertaining and exploring the stunning coastline where I live – hiking, cycling and swimming. I’m happy in bare feet, but I love putting on my Jimmy Choos once in a while. I’m looking for someone confident, solvent, with a kind heart and a spirit of adventure. How about a trip on The Orient Express?’
‘The Orient Express? That’s way out of my league.’
‘Only if you think it is.’
‘Plus I don’t have any Jimmy Choos,’ said Helen. ‘And I can’t remember the last time I went out on a bike. And you’ve made The Shrimp sound like a superyacht. Not a beaten-up old dayboat.’
The Shrimp had been William’s pride and joy, and they’d never got rid of her. She was moored up in the harbour, and every now and then someone took her out for a trip along the coast, to find seals or puffins.
‘It doesn’t matter. Everyone exaggerates a bit. It’s about building up an image so you get the right calibre. If you downplay yourself, you’ll get some dreary old bore who wants to take you metal detecting. You want someone with a bit of dash. And a bit of cash.’
‘I’m not a gold-digger.’
‘No. But you want someone who won’t automatically go for the cheapest wine on the menu. You need spoiling and looking after. Aim high!’
Nikki had to agree. ‘I think Jess is right. You deserve someone special.’
‘It’s just a game, Gran,’ Juno added. ‘It’s like bargaining. You can go down but you can’t go up.’
Jess saved the new words.
‘Trust me. You can’t oversell yourself in the dating game. You don’t want to be a nurse or a purse.’
‘A nurse or a purse?’ echoed Helen. ‘No, I do not.’
‘And none of this is a lie. Except maybe the shoes. And you could get some of those with the click of a button.’
‘But what if I do find the perfect match, and they’re disappointed when they see me?’
The three of them stared at her. Even at the end of the day, after cooking lunch for nine without turning a hair, Helen looked radiant. Her smile lit up her face. She was a very beautiful woman and any man would be lucky to have her. She deserved the very best, and the three of them would make sure she got it.
Afterwards, as they left Mariners and headed out down the passageway towards the street, Nikki expressed her surprise at their mum’s decision.
‘I think it’s great,’ said Jess. ‘Mum’s so fabulous, and there’ll be someone out there for her.’
‘Do you think so?’ Nikki was more cautious. ‘I mean, look at us. We haven’t exactly struck lucky.’
‘Speak for yourself.’ Jess looked at her sister with a mischievous twinkle. ‘I’ve dated loads of fantastic guys – I just haven’t wanted to settle down with any of them. But that’s me, not them. I’m too bloody selfish now to have someone else in my life. And I wouldn’t wish me on anyone.’
She laughed, and Nikki wondered if she really meant that, or if she was putting on a brave face. Her sister did seem perfectly happy to be single these days. She was a career nurse, but she offset that by partying hard and holidaying even harder, even at her age, so in some ways the convenience of occasional online dating really suited Jess. She had the balls for it too. She was happy to take risks on someone, but she was ruthless if they didn’t live up to her expectations. Nikki was sometimes shocked by her brutality. She would cheerfully walk out on a date before they’d even ordered drinks if she didn’t think it was working.
‘No point in getting their hopes up,’ Jess would say, unabashed.
Nikki found the dating game much more challenging. Jess had often told her she overthought it, and she should throw caution to the wind a bit more. She’d met some lovely men, kind and fun and interesting, though somehow never all three qualities at once, and certainly none that had lit enough of a spark inside her to make a long-term commitment. Somehow, after three or four months, there would be a mutual parting. Never any drama. Things just fizzled out.
‘I just hope Mum’s built for it. Not everyone’s like you, Jess,’ she said now.
‘We’ll vet them for her. I’m not going to let her walk into a trap. And I’m pretty good at red flags.’
‘True.’ Jess examined potential dates with forensic precision and knew the warning signs. She could find someone’s real identity in moments by clues hidden in their profiles they had no idea were obvious.
‘And her generation will be different from ours. There’ll be more choice, because there’ll be more widowers. I think she might find somebody rather special.’ Jess looked uncharacteristically misty-eyed. ‘No one will live up to Dad. That would be impossible. But she definitely deserves some fun. She’s run around after us lot for long enough. And been at Graham and Suzanne’s beck and call.’
