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‘I know that now. But it’s too late. And I’m really sorry. If you thought I’d behaved badly …’ She couldn’t avoid looking at him now. He was staring straight at her. ‘Because I think …’
‘What?’ she whispered.
‘I think I’ve made a mistake.’
There was silence. For three seconds. Five. She had to say something. But she couldn’t.
‘There’s nothing I can do now. I’m in too deep with Jess.’
‘Of course not.’ She reached out a hand to pat his arm. It was supposed to be a gesture of reassurance, but the moment she touched him, she saw the light come back into his eyes. There was still something between them. Something powerful. He stepped towards her and she put her hands up, closing her eyes, terrified they were going to do something irreversible. Yet she longed for that to happen too.
‘Nikki …’ He whispered her name again and she felt her resolve melting. The chemistry was impossible to ignore. There was something deliciously toxic shooting through her veins that made her feel as if anything was possible, as if she was irresistible, as if—
The front door flew open. Rik stepped away from her and reached for his coat. Jess was standing in the doorway, drenched from the rain outside.
‘You have to come. Because I’ve got something important to tell you.’ She looked at the two of them. Nikki wondered if there was guilt written all over their faces, but Jess didn’t look in the least bit suspicious. Of course not. She had never seen Nikki as a threat. And besides, she had the trump card. She smiled as she dealt it. ‘I’m pregnant.’ She laughed and Nikki noticed a slight tinge of hysteria. ‘I’m having a baby.’
23
Now
Nikki gave Juno an edited version of events, leaving out her part of the story. Instead, she told of a whirlwind romance and Jess’s surprise announcement that New Year’s Eve. And Rik’s subsequent proposal. Two weeks later, once the news had sunk in, he’d gone to ask William for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Helen had given him her own grandmother’s engagement ring, a square-cut sapphire surrounded by diamonds.
‘Jess has always wanted it,’ she told him. ‘And it’s lovely to think it will stay in the family.’
At no point did Nikki suggest that things in the garden hadn’t been entirely rosy, for the last thing she wanted was for Juno to think that it was her fault; that her imminent arrival had put her parents under pressure and forced them together. Yet somehow Juno read between the lines.
‘What I don’t understand is what he saw in Mum?’
‘What?’ Nikki was startled by the question.
‘I mean, I love Mum, of course I do, but we all know she’s selfish and stroppy and it’s all about her, most of the time. How did he put up with it?’
Nikki was at a loss for words. She stared at Juno, whose troubled eyes were full of questions. She couldn’t think what to say. She certainly couldn’t tell her the truth. In the end, she shrugged, attempting a blithe smile.
‘Opposites attract, I guess. And your mum isn’t all bad. You know that. She’s pretty wonderful, underneath it all.’
It was true. Even now, just as you’d had enough of Jess, just as you were about ready to kill her, she would grab you and tell you how important you were to her, and how she couldn’t live without you, and she’d wrap you in one of her hugs, suffocating you with that intoxicating Black Orchid, and you would feel on top of the world. And the memory of whatever she’d done to enrage you would melt away and you’d fall in love with her again for the millionth time.
Nikki couldn’t breathe. Everything was closing in. Too many questions. Too many memories. Too much guilt.
There are no secrets in a small town.
‘Let’s go for a swim,’ she said. ‘It’s nearly high tide. We can wash off all this dust.’
‘You’re changing the subject.’
‘I’m not. I’m dirty and knackered and I need a break. Come on. Let’s do it.’
Juno knew when to drop a conversation. Ten minutes later they’d grabbed their swimming things and were clambering down the steps to the beach. The early evening sun was getting weaker, drifting downwards as if it was losing the will to stay afloat, and a sharp sea breeze snapped at their heels. Summer might be here, but she was fickle.
Halfway down, as they rounded a corner and the beach itself came into view, Nikki spied Adam and Gatsby. Adam looked like an advert for a luxury outdoor clothing company, as if he was about to conquer the coast path with a foldaway tent in his pocket, or make a fire out of driftwood and rocks. Gatsby was bounding through the shallows, having the time of his life.
‘Oh my God,’ breathed Juno. ‘Look at him.’
Nikki knew she would be talking about the dog. Juno prioritised animals over humans every day of the week.
‘That’s my new neighbour.’
