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And then the music began, the gentle strumming of a bright guitar and soft female vocals, and Phoebe walked down the boardwalk to ‘The Sea of Love’ by Cat Power, and Alec turned to look at his bride. The look of joy on his face was unmistakable. Fifteen minutes later, they were married, and Nikki felt proud to sign the register, trying not to worry about what was going on back at the farm. It didn’t matter if the generator had exploded or the marquee had fallen down – she’d done the most important part of the job.
The rest of the day went in a blur. All her meticulous planning paid off. Mercury behaved impeccably as Phoebe rode into the meadow side saddle with Alec leading him. The guests applauded. They were young, beautiful and dressed up to the nines, in a rainbow of silk and velvet and tweed, statement hats and vertiginous heels. In the marquee, flower clouds studded with peonies and old roses hung over the trestle tables. Later, as night fell, the astronomer wandered amongst the tables, pointing out the constellations. But none of the stars shone as brightly as Alec and Phoebe.
At one o’clock in the morning, Nikki and Tamsin sat on the fence at the bottom of the meadow, their hands curled around mugs of tea, scoffing the last of the miniature wedding cakes Helen had made.
‘Well, that’s that, then,’ said Tamsin. ‘Windcutter Weddings it is. I should have listened to you years ago. I’d be planning my retirement now.’
Nikki licked the last of the buttercream from her fingers. ‘If you get your skates on, you could be up and running next summer.’
‘I’ve got all those bloody barns falling down. We can do a proper kitchen. Proper loos.’ She laughed. ‘I don’t know what Dad would have thought. He didn’t have a romantic bone in his body.’
‘I think he’d be very proud,’ said Nikki. ‘You’ve worked yourself to the bone keeping this place together. Most people would have sold up.’
‘This farm’s in my blood. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it. And I just want to thank you, for giving me the inspiration. For making me do it.’ She reached out and took Nikki’s hand. They sat there on the fence, taking a moment to reflect on the success of the day, and what that meant for them, each of them grateful for their friendship, each of them aware that they were conjoined by tragedy, yet it was something stronger that kept them together now: the future, not the past.
49
On Sunday, Nikki drove Juno back out to Zak’s for another rehearsal. It was the last time he was going to be in Speedwell before the anniversary next month, so it was their final chance to fine tune their performance. Juno seemed very sanguine about the fact she was performing with him, and by all accounts Zak had been very laid back about them sharing top billing, not at all starry.
They pulled up outside Zak’s house. ‘I’ll come and get you in a couple of hours,’ Nikki told her. ‘Text me if you finish sooner, or want a bit longer.’
Edith was sitting on the back seat, and Nikki planned to explore the nearby woods with her. She watched Juno go, in a long fishnet cardigan over tiny denim shorts and clumpy suede ankle boots. She was so talented, so self-assured in some ways – she had completely transformed Phoebe the day before without breaking into a sweat – but Nikki still worried that she had no conviction or self-belief. She’d been monosyllabic about her first rehearsal with Zak, just saying it had been fine and not going into any detail even though they were all longing to hear the minutiae.
She looked down and noticed that Juno had left her notebook on the floor of the car. It had all her lyrics in it, and she usually guarded it with her life. Nikki bent down to pick it up – she could run it into the house as she’d probably need it. As she picked it up, a piece of paper came loose. It was torn from a spiral-bound notepad, like the ones they had always used at North Property Management. She went to tuck it back inside, but as she glanced at the words, written on it in blue biro, she froze. I’ve been thinking and thinking about how to get us out of this mess, she read.
Should she read it? This was Juno’s private notebook. But something drew her in. She had a feeling this was something she needed to read. And as soon as her eyes fell on the first paragraph, she knew this note had been intended for her.
I’m going to take Jess and the baby to Ireland.
The note was from Rik. She read on, even though she knew this was one of those moments which would redefine everything. The past and the present.
I think we could have a good life there. I can get work in the harbour and Jess could work at the hospital when the baby is bigger. There are good people in Kinsale. They looked out for me when I was young, and they’ll look out for her. Your mum can come and visit as often as she likes – she can fly to Cork from Bristol.
It’s the best thing for all of us. We can’t go on like this. It’s not fair on your sister, or the baby. It will break my heart, and I know it will break yours, but it’s the only—
The note ended there, as if he’d been interrupted and had hidden it away.
Nikki spread it out on her lap with shaking hands. She didn’t know what she was most shocked by. The revelation that Rik had a plan that he’d never shared with her, or the realisation that it must have been Juno who had sent the postcards. Her own niece. She felt sick. All that time they spent together – Juno helping her with the house, Nikki organising the rehearsals with Zak, her performance at the party, coming to help her out yesterday. How could she have done that, knowing she was threatening Nikki behind her back?
She looked up to see Juno running back out of Zak’s house. Nikki met her gaze as Juno ran towards the car, then slowed to a halt.
Nikki opened the car door and held out the notebook. Juno took it wordlessly, her eyes not leaving Nikki’s.
‘Where did you find the note?’ Nikki tried to keep her voice calm and non-accusatory.
Juno sighed. ‘Mum gave me a load of Dad’s albums. It was inside one of them.’
‘OK.’ Nikki nodded. That made sense. She could imagine Rik scrawling away, then tucking it away hastily out of sight inside a record sleeve. When had he planned to give it to her? Would he have revealed his plan that last day, when she told him about the cruise ship? They had both come to the same conclusion. They had both independently decided to leave Speedwell, but only Nikki had had the chance to voice her decision.
It didn’t matter now.
‘So was it you? The postcards?’
Juno nodded. Her lips were pressed tightly together. She was trying not to cry.
‘Why, Juno? Why didn’t you come and talk to me?’
‘Because I was angry with you. How could you have done that to Mum?’
