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“And why’s that?” I asked as I brought my hand up to cradle the side of her face.
“Because I’m not like other women,” she repeated.
I wasn’t a psychologist, but I suspected that it was more than that. Either she couldn’t get out of her own head long enough to enjoy sex, or she felt guilty for enjoying something that shouldn’t seem possible after what she’d gone through.
I ran my thumb across her lower lip. “I’m not here to make you cum, Posie.”
Her breath hitched. “Then why are you here?”
“I’m here to be with you,” I clarified. “I’m not here to touch you, kiss you, fuck you, or make you cum. I’m here to experience you-all of you. I’m here to make sure that you’re never the same again without me. I’m here because I’ll go crazy if I put this off for one more minute. I’m here because not being here is no longer an option for me. I’m here because I can’t get you out of my fucking head, and I don’t care how fucking ugly your secrets are. I don’t care about anything but being with you.”
“You say that now because you don’t know what you’re getting into,” she said, and this was the moment when I should come clean and let her know that I did know what I was getting into. This was that moment in the movies when the hero makes the mistake of not coming clean, and the entire audience wonders how he could be such an idiot.
Well, it was easy to understand how he could be such an idiot now. If I told Posie what I knew, I’d lose this moment with her. Even if she didn’t kick me out of her condo, her passion would turn into anger, and this would turn into an argument, rather than a night of desire. As wrong as it was, I wanted Posie more than I wanted to be honest with her.
I needed Posie.
“The same could be said for you,” I told her. “You know nothing about me.”
“Then why are we doing this?” she asked.
“Because even if you don’t know me, I know that you can feel me,” I answered. “Just like I can feel you.”
“How do you do that?”
My hand slid up further around the back of her neck. “Do what, baby?”
“Say all the right things,” she replied. “How do you know just what to say?”
“I don’t,” I assured her. “I’m just saying what I feel, Posie.”
“I…” Her chocolate gaze faltered a bit. “I…I might freak out on you,” she warned, getting as close to admitting her past without actually telling me.
“And I might fall in love with you,” I warned her, making a confession of my own. “So, I guess we both have a lot at stake here.”
“Killian…” she whispered.
“Crash and burn with me, Posie,” I said, my hand coming up to join the other one.
“Okay,” she mouthed, and it was fucking everything.
Chapter 17
Posie~
If Killian chose this moment to press his body up against mine, he’d be able to feel how hard my heart was beating against my ribs. He’d be able to tell how nervous and terrified I was. Ironically, it wasn’t the thought of sex that was terrifying me, either.
No.
It was every word out of this man’s mouth that was sending me down a dark rabbit hole of hope. Every word out of his mouth was making me feel reborn, and that was such a dangerous thing for a person like me to feel. I could easily become addicted to his version of the truth, and there was still that kiss to contend with.
Hours later, I could still feel his lips on mine, and I could still feel it all the way down to my toes. Walking out of his office earlier had been one of the hardest things that I’d ever had to make myself do, and that was saying a lot, considering.
With the way that Killian was holding my face, I thought that he was going to kiss me again, but I was wrong. Instead, he placed a firm kiss on the top of my head before taking a step back.
So, confused, I asked, “What are you doing?”
His blue eyes looked so serious when he said, “I want you to undress me, Posie.”
