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She studied me for a moment, and then the crease between her eyes eased and she smiled. It felt like a benediction. After all she’d been through today, she was still making good choices and doing the right thing, even for people who might not deserve it.
Lily might have been down, but she wasn’t beaten. There was a spine of steel buried somewhere beneath her straight-A-student exterior. Something wild, and headstrong, and far braver than anyone I knew.
“If I’d seen your message earlier, I’d have been there sooner. I came as soon as I saw it.” I needed her to believe that. “I know you don’t really have a reason to believe me, but the guys can back me up.”
She continued to blot the extra blood from the wound on my arm before dabbing on antiseptic and then smoothing a clean, dry bandage over it.
Lily held her silence as she moved around me to my side. The stab was shallow, his angle hadn’t been right, but it still hurt, and it’d still need cleaning.
She was looking at my side, prodding with a cotton ball, pressing the alcohol deep inside to root out any potential infection, when she finally spoke. “Why do you care if I believe you or not? I don’t exist to you, remember?”
The reminder of the harsh, unforgiveable things I’d said to her in the heat of my anger was a slap.
“Lily,” I began and jerked as she put her finger to my lips. Her skin was so soft, I wanted to kiss it.
“Don’t. I was just teasing you. After tonight…let’s just leave the past in the past. It doesn’t matter now.”
“How can you say that after what I did?”
“What you did was horrible, we both know it…but it forced me to confront some hard truths, and I don’t regret that now.”
I leaned down to peer at her. She stared down at my side, dabbing it with cotton balls soaked in cleaning solution.
“Seriously?” I wondered.
She nodded. “I had the best conversation I’ve ever had with my parents, and at the end of the day, that was because of you.”
A grin of relief touched my lips. “I suppose I should say you’re welcome.”
She poked me a touch harder for a second, her green eyes flickering to mine. “Don’t push it.”
A chuckle left me. How could I be chuckling when the last few hours had been some of the worst in my life? I had no idea. I only knew that I felt lighter than I ever had, sitting here with Lily, her smile gracing my unworthy face.
“Because of you, I can be honest with my parents about what I want.”
“And that’s going to California?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
She hummed an agreement, and I wanted to press her further, but she didn’t give me a chance.
“I think we’re done here, well, as much as I can be anyway.” She picked up the bloodied cotton balls and put them in a metal dish, then walked behind me to put them in the trash.
Her footsteps carried her to the trash can and then halfway back before suddenly stopping.
Oh, right. I’d been so distracted; I’d taken off my T-shirt without even thinking about my back.
The word the Cutlers had given me to remember them by forever. Not that it was a secret from her.
She was silent, unmoving.
I glanced at her over my shoulder. “It’s okay. You’ve already seen it, right?”
“No. I told you…I never really saw it,” she said quietly.
Fuck. I hunched forward, suddenly feeling exposed. She really hadn’t seen it before? Now, her reaction became the most important thing in my life.
It was so quiet, I was sure she could hear my heart pounding.
Then, a touch so soft, I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. Like the brush of an angel’s fingers, her finger traced over the word.
