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"Think, Tony," I whisper to myself, trying to sound decisive. "What's next?"
This grief has been lingering like a storm cloud, but it is time to plan the future.
Nursing school.
After wallowing for a little while, I’ve come to the conclusion that that is what I am going to do . . . go back to school. That is what Mama would want me to do. I abandoned school midway to take care of her. She would be so mad if I didn’t go back. She would blame herself for my derailment, even though it is not her fault. What a terrible way to enjoy Heaven. I won’t do that to her . . . I am going back to school.
Destination for my future goal reached, I exhale slowly, embracing the memory of my mother, feeling the weight of her love for me and belief in me as tangible as the locket around my neck with her picture inside.
"Texas," I say aloud, testing the word. It tastes like dust and determination, but it’s where I left my dreams on hold, and maybe it’s where I can start piecing things back together—piecing my life back together—Finish what you started.
The thought steadies me as if I'm already pulling scrubs over my head, readying for a shift. With each imagined motion, the decision cements itself within me, but before I settle down for the night, there’s one more thing I need to do today before daybreak. I want to get to Texas with a clean slate, nothing interfering with my concentration.
I reach for my cell phone on the nightstand and dial Liam’s number. There’s something I need to square with him, and it just won’t wait. It is 2 AM now, making it 8 AM in Zurich. I have no idea what his sleep pattern is, but I don’t care. Life is too short to be worrying about everybody else and constantly being PC.
"Tony?" Liam’s voice is immediate, laced with sleep and concern. "Are you okay?"
"Did I wake you?”
“No. Don’t worry about that.Are you ok?”
“Yes, but I need to talk to you about something, but something tells me it is not something we should discuss over this line of communication. Do you use WhatsApp? It is more secure as the conversation is encrypted on both ends.”
“I don’t know half the things you just said about the call, but I did get the part about needing to talk to me and the urgency. I can be in Miami by tomorrow morning."
“Didn’t you say—”
“That doesn’t matter. I’ll be careful.”
A shiver runs down my spine at his readiness. He'd walk into danger without hesitation just because I asked. Why? Who would do that for me without even knowing what it is? I have to say . . . there is an active shooter out there aiming to kill him. "No, Liam, you can't. There's still —"
"A killer out there trying to kill me—I know." His words are flat, resigned. "Would you come back to Zurich instead?" he suggests after a beat.
"Yes, I can. It seems the only viable option. I will have to owe you, though. I’m kind of broke right now, but I should be ok soon."
“Don’t be silly. I will buy you the ticket. You can pick it up at the airport.” There's a rustling sound, papers or perhaps a keyboard. "Expect an email with your itinerary soon."
"Thank you, Liam." Gratitude swells in my chest, mingling with a myriad of emotions I can't quite name.
"It’s my pleasure. Now, text me that email address." He says before hanging up, leaving me cloaked in an embrace of knowing that, finally, sleep will be coming soon.
9.45 AM, I wake up to the shrill sound of my wake-up alarm and start getting ready to get out of here. I am still a little groggy, but I need to check out of here, swing by the house and, pack a bag then move on to the airport. My flight leaves at 2 PM, which means I need to be at Miami International Airport by 12 PM. That doesn’t leave me much time. I check out of this flea motel powered only by the trip ahead of me and the conversations yet to be had in Zurich...truths that might yet shatter or heal—or both.
I step outside the motel, where the balmy air assaults my skin, head on to the clerk’s office and settle my bill, the soda and Vodka costing almost the same as a brand-new tire for my Honda Accord, then head on home, hoping everybody left to go someplace else.
Dick and Jenny have their own places, so I don’t expect to find them there, but Lola might be. She goes to school in Gainsville, so she might be in the house, or she might have gone with Jenny in order not to be alone in Mama’s house.
As much as she is attached to it, she also seems to exhibit signs that she is not totally “at home” there. She kept fidgeting, looking over her shoulder as if expecting to see a ghost of our Mom there or something.
10:20 AM, I am in Mom’s house and thank goodness there’s no one here. I take the fastest shower known to man, pack a bag, then call a cab to the airport, and I am there with fifteen minutes to spare. When I go to pick up my ticket, I am finally hit with the true power of money. Liam not only bought me a first-class ticket, but a concierge service to go with it.
From the minute I show my ID to the ticket agent, things start happening as if I was the only child of a Saudi prince and the world has to bow down to me or die. . . the power of the AmEx Card, at its most extravagant.
The concierge service kicks in, and everybody acts like their lives depend on making me comfortable or happy. What the hell did he tell who? The first-class ticket becomes not just a means of travel but a portal to a world where every desire is anticipated and fulfilled even before I can think it, from the exclusive waiting area, where attendants cater to my every whim, to the boarding process that feels more like a royal procession, the experience nothing short of a billion-dollar spectacle.
As I settle into my plush seat, the journey unfolds like a dream. Flight attendants, trained to perfection, bend over backward tomake every moment extraordinary, from the finest cuisine to personalized attention, but all I can think is the conversation that is taking me to Zurich . . . taking me to Liam, the man I learned to love as a child, then grew to hate as the Devil, then came to owe as a savior and now this. It is enough to make your head spin.
So much is going on around me, things that would make any ordinary person feel like a Cinderella moment, but all I feel is numbness. What lies beyond the cobwebs?
