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I’ve been dreading this trip, but there’s a rush of nostalgia when I walk out of the automatic airport doors into the Georgia sunshine. Hallie snagged a prime spot at the front of the line. I stick my suitcase into the trunk of her white SUV and climb in the passenger seat to give my sister a hug. She squeezes me tightly, smelling like sunshine and applesauce.
My chest clenches like it’s being squeezed by a rubber band. I might complain about Hallie’s constant check-ins, but she’s the one person who’s always been there for me. The one family member who’s never abandoned me, either physically or emotionally.
I missed her. I love her, even though I’m shitty about showing it.
“Happy wedding weekend!” she cheers when we pull apart.
“Please don’t try to make that a thing,” I reply, rolling my eyes at the cheerful expression emphasized by the colorful silk scarf Hallie tied around her ponytail. It practically smacks me in the face as she spins to refasten her seatbelt.
“Well, someone has to counteract all the negative energy you’re exuding,” she replies, as I click my seatbelt into place.
“I had to get up at five to go for a run before leaving for the airport. They messed up my coffee order, and the row behind me contained not one, but two screaming children. Please excuse me if I’m not the picture of joy and excitement.”
“Right, because otherwise you would be,” Hallie remarks dryly as she pulls away from the curb. I don’t deny it. She knows exactly how I feel about this weekend.
“Speaking of screaming children, where’s yours?” I ask.
Hallie manages to give me side-eye while navigating a roundabout. “With Matt and his family. They’re staying with us.”
“What? Why?”
“Because they’re Matt’s family. You can always stay at Dad’s.”
I huff out an annoyed breath. “So Jackson is also staying at the house?”
“He’s my brother-in-law, Saylor.”
“Which makes the fact that he does nothing but hit on me all the weirder.”
“Well, you’re not related to him,” Hallie points out.
“Legally, I am.”
“He’s just trying to be friendly.”
I laugh. “Thank God you found Matt in pre-algebra. Jackson asked me out to dinner at your wedding, Hallie. That’s not just being friendly to your sister-in-law’s sister.”
She doesn’t argue with me. “He’s harmless.”
“I know. Doesn’t mean I want to spend the next couple days fending off his advances.”
“Would it be that terrible to be in a relationship?” Hallie asks. “Not with Jackson, but someone else,” she adds hastily, completely misreading my silence.
“I don’t have time for it.”
“You make time for it, Saylor. There’s never been a guy who made you consider it?”
I’m focused on the line of palm trees we’re passing by. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?”
I sigh. “It’s complicated.”
I haven’t seen or spoken to Beck since he left CFOC. I can’t reach out to say nothing, and that’s currently all I have to share. Talking to him is a leap I’m scared to make for many reasons, chief among them that I’m scared to fall. So I’ve focused on soccer and dreading this trip ever since returning to Lancaster, rather than dealing with any of it.
“Relationships are complicated. Doesn’t mean they’re not worthwhile.”
“We weren’t in a relationship,” I tell the trees.
