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“Oh. Okay.”
“I think I’m in love with him, though.” Shocked silence follows. “So that’s…inconvenient.”
“Does he go to Lancaster?” Hallie asks tentatively.
I didn’t plan to discuss Beck with her. But talking about it is easier than I would have expected. “No. He plays professionally.” I pause, then add, “In Germany. I met him over the summer, when I was at Scholenberg.”
“Ah. So it’s a distance thing?”
“Partially. He’s also kind of…famous.”
“Famous?” Hallie sounds amused. “For playing soccer?”
I scoff, unsurprised by her reaction. “Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Why?” I ask suspiciously.
“Why do you think, Saylor? I want to look him up.”
“That’s totally unnecessary.”
“Saylor.”
I sigh. “Fine. His name is Adler Beck.”
Hallie slams on the brakes. Slams. We’re approaching a red light, but still. Way more force than was necessary. “Adler Beck?”
“You know who he is?” I’m shocked. Hallie has never expressed any interest in soccer. She once asked me how many touchdowns I’d scored in a season.
“Of course I do,” she says, sounding less like my serious older sister and a lot more like a preteen at a boy-band concert. “He’s famous!”
“I know that he’s famous. I just told you he’s famous, and you laughed.”
“I just didn’t, I—wow. Okay. That’s…wow. You should have invited him to the wedding.”
I snort. “Yeah, right. We’re not…I’m not cut out for a relationship.”
“Of course you are,” Hallie responds. “Do you think I planned to end up married with a kid at twenty-seven?”
“Um, honestly? Yes,” I reply.
Hallie and her husband Matt had one of those insta-love connections that were all the rage in middle school but rarely lasted past puberty. They spent the entirety of their high school and college years attached at the hip. I would have been more surprised if she’d told me they weren’t getting married when she made the announcement three years ago.
Hallie’s eyes are on the road, but I have a feeling she’s rolling them. “Well, I didn’t. I mean, maybe I liked the idea of having the stable family we didn’t, but that was also why I was terrified. Worried Matt and I might end up like Mom and Dad.”
“You were?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah, I was,” Hallie confirms. “And the point is, I realized it. I moved past it. I’m not sure if you have.”
“I don’t need a psychology degree to know I’ve got trust issues because Mom left, Hallie. That’s my shit to figure out…sometime.”
She’s quiet for a minute. “Don’t let her take anything else, Saylor.”
We’re both silent after that. Any mention of our mom tends to have that sobering effect. Losing a parent is traumatic under any circumstances. Having them purposefully abandon you? I’m not over it. I’m not sure I ever will be.
I’m expecting Hallie to pull up in front of the bungalow she and Matt bought when they got married. Instead, she stops and parks in front of a long, industrial-looking building on the fringes of town.
