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Chapter 3
Constance AKA Julie
Ihad to find some way to get him off of my mind. Staying in the house when I had nothing better to do than do watch him intensely was becoming too much for me to handle.
Cameron was forcing me to leave my home after finishing work to find solace with a few drinks.
“I understand that it must be a hardship for a gorgeous man to want you. I hope you hear the sarcasm in my voice. My heart bleeds for you,” Bethany mocked with two glasses of champagne and a third one touching her lips.
“I forget sometimes that drinking makes you speak the truth. Maybe, what I need is a true friend to tell me how it is. I’m not sure what to do. Sleeping with him is the only thing on my mind these days. The taste of him compels me to do something that goes against everything I believe in,” I stated with one hand holding onto the table and the other one wrapped around the cold chill of the glass.
The place was out of the way, a couple of miles from her hotel room.
The best thing for everybody was for her to become a buffer between us. The only way that was going to happen was if I could convince her to come back home after what happened during the fire. It was impossible to know what her reaction was going to be when I finally broached the topic. I think in some small way the drinks were my way of getting her to listen to reason.
“I’ve told you a hundred times what I think. Forgiveness has always been a two-way street. It will make you feel better to tell him what happened in the past. He’s going to be angry, but I don’t think he’s going to stay mad for very long. You can be very convincing. She hinted at the possibility of me using my body to heal those wounds I had inflicted intentionally.
The tables were made of solid oak with a polished finish that made it shine under the fluorescent lights. The place was old architecture with the bare bones still easily seen under the modern renovations. The frosted glass on the windows was a throwback to a different era.
It made sense to hear her take on things when I was struggling to come out of the fog of sexual desire. Cameron had always been the one that got away.
There was this photograph of us in my head where we were happy in each other’s arms. Leaving that behind wasn’t easy. He was forced into ridiculing me by peer pressure. I had no doubt that he would express his sorrow and regret for what he had done.
The red leather chair beneath me squeaked when I pushed it closer to the table. There was no reason to set the rumor mill on fire about what we were talking about. Some people had this uncanny ability to overhear things on purpose. Giving them ammunition against me would turn me into the town pariah. This was a new start, and I didn’t want anything to ruin it especially my overactive libido for a man that should’ve been considered off-limits.
“We’ve done things, but I’ve always found a reason to push him away. Deep down, I’m worried that he’s going to hurt me emotionally and I’m never going to be able to recover. I’ve learned the hard way that most men can’t be trusted as far as I can throw them. He was the worst of them all and I’ve never truly forgiven him,” I confessed to being weak and vulnerable, unable to see past the rage of fury in my heart.
I took out this heart-shaped locket and placed it on the table in front of me. It was a reminder to never let a man get that close to me again. The photograph inside depicted a happy couple but that was a mirage built on a fake smile.
“Bryan hurt you terribly. We both knew the signs were there but we convinced ourselves that he was a changed man. A narcissist will make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world but in time their affections will turn ugly. I can preach when I have been down that road a few times to know what I’m talking about," she explained with the empty glass and her hand signaling to the waiter for another one.
“I would suggest pacing yourself. It’s only ten o’clock,” I advised with my finger moving down the contents of the laminated menu.
The one thing I wanted more than anything was to reach out for his hand in the middle of the night. Opening my mind was nothing without my heart on my sleeve. The answer was in his smile every time he looked at me. He could find a way to make me feel ready for anything when he touched me.
“I can’t seem to sleep without seeing the flames every time I close my eyes. I know what the therapist would say. The trauma has awakened an old childhood memory in me. It surprised me that I was able to act quickly. There was one moment where I was frozen but then something came over me," she said with her right finger twitching on the table.
She wasn’t burned although she did have to remain on pure oxygen for a few hours to stave off smoke inhalation.
She was dressed to impress the opposite sex. Several young men were mingling at the bar watching us out of the corner of their eyes. A couple of drinks had already been proffered, to sway our opinion. It wasn’t the first time we had the courtesy of men buying our drinks and it wasn’t going to be the last time.
“Have you considered taking a sleeping pill?” She glared at me from across the table. “There’s no reason to look at me like that. Saying no is usually a good idea but these are difficult times. Nobody can fault you for wanting to resort to pharmaceutical help,” I whispered with one pill between two fingers waiting for her to take me up on my offer.
She waved her hand dismissively. “I think I can do better than a sleeping pill.”
One young man detached himself from the pack of wolves sniffing around our table. We were the only game in the place. It was still early, and others would come to take our place. This young Adonis with blond hair and chiseled good looks had just a little peach fuzz underneath his nose.
“I don’t mean to bother you. This is not something I normally do. Sitting there and watching, you both have been driving me crazy all night. I’m taking a huge chance at the risk of being rejected but I feel I have nothing to lose and everything to gain," he sang with his voice in this melodic baritone of seduction to make any discerning woman think twice about falling on their fidelity sword.
“That is very sweet of you but we’re trying to have a private conversation. I don’t mean to be rude. At any other time, this might result in something pleasant happening between us. We’ve been known to attract the same man from time to time. We might look like sisters but we are best friends and no man is ever going to come between us,” I deflected from his dazzling dimples.
“Let’s not be too hasty. It must have taken him a lot of courage to come over here without his posse backing him up. The least we can do is hear him out. He might come up with something original instead of relying on old favorites,” Bethany suggested in her tight jeans and even tighter denim shirt giving this kid all sorts of decadent ideas.
She motioned for him to join us to the chagrin of his friends laughing it up not more than a few feet away. They probably thought he had no chance in hell. There wasn’t much not to like about the kid. He was impressionable with muscles displayed under his form-fitting shirt.
He seemed innocent but was obviously experienced when it came to seducing a woman.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea. This isn’t what I had in mind when I invited you to have a few drinks with me. It shouldn’t surprise me we would have to fight them off with a stick. I wonder if the same thing would have been true if I had come in here alone. I guess we will never know,” I said caustically with my words frosty to prevent him from breaking down my walls.
