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Take that, Diane.
Esther was still riding the high when she got to knitting that night.
Jinny had arrived before her and already announced that she and Esther had patched things up. Esther was welcomed back from her sabbatical with open arms, and caught up on all the news she’d missed. Vilma’s younger son had made the varsity soccer team. Penny’s cousin had had her baby, and yet another cousin was now expecting. Cynthia had finished all her tiny animal sweaters and had proofs from the photo shoot to pass around. And Olivia had bought herself a pair of clear Converse All-Stars that she’d apparently been dying to show Esther.
“They’re perfect for wearing with hand-knit socks, because you can see the socks through them!” She stuck out her feet so everyone could appreciate them. “Aren’t they badass?”
Esther agreed they were indeed badass and she needed to get herself a pair immediately.
As the ladies chattered around her, a feeling of contented belonging settled over her. She leaned forward to snag one of the peanut butter cookies Penny had brought, feeling keenly how lucky she was to have these women in her life.
Friends were important, and she needed to do a better job holding on to the ones she had. Esther mentally added it to her self-improvement to-do list, right under Stop pushing away people who care about you. Let friends know they matter to you. She hadn’t fixed on a third item for her list yet, but she was considering Be a nicer person. Maybe. She still had some self-reflection to do on that one.
Esther was done sabotaging herself. She might have screwed things up with Jonathan irrevocably, but at least she’d learned from her failure. She was trying to be a better person. A less broken person.
Two hours later, as they were all walking out to their cars, Cynthia fell into step beside Esther. “So what exactly happened with you and that guy?”
Esther assumed she meant Jonathan, and glanced across the parking lot, to where Jinny was getting in her car. “Nothing happened.”
Cynthia gave her a don’t bullshit me look. “Something happened.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Is that right?” Cynthia said, not buying it.
They’d reached Esther’s car, and she unlocked her door and shoved her bag inside before turning to face Cynthia. “I fucked up. But it’s over now. We’ve all moved on.”
Cynthia’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not like you to do something like that.”
“Sure it is,” Esther said. “I have one-night stands all the time—I mean, not all the time, but—”
“I’m not talking about that.” Cynthia waved her hand dismissively. “Look, I get why you thought you needed to trick Jinny into going out with that guy. We all knew Stu wasn’t shit, and she was headed right back to him. I’m not saying you were right, but I understand the impulse, at least. But the fact that you’d sleep with this guy? Knowing it might hurt Jinny? That’s what’s not like you.”
“Yeah, well.” Esther looked down at her feet.
Cynthia touched her arm. “You’ve never been the type to lose your head over a man. So if you’re losing your head over this one, maybe you should ask yourself why. What’s so special about him?”
Esther was pretty sure she knew what was so special. But she wasn’t ready to admit it to Cynthia or anyone else. New Improved Esther was still a work in progress. She hadn’t recovered from her big heart-to-heart with Jinny yet. It would be a while before she was ready to let herself be that vulnerable again.
Besides, it didn’t matter anymore, because Jonathan had moved on. It was great that she’d had this epiphany and all, but her life wasn’t a rom-com. There wasn’t going to be any running after the boy and winning him back with declarations of love. It was best to forget it and move on with her life.
“There’s nothing special about him anymore,” Esther said, meeting Cynthia’s eye.
Cynthia raised a dubious eyebrow. “Mmmm hmmm.” She headed off toward her car, lifting a hand in farewell. “See you next week,” she called over her shoulder.
Esther got into her Prius and pushed the conversation with Cynthia out of her mind. It was fruitless to keep thinking about Jonathan. All it brought her was pain. And she wasn’t going to turn into someone who spent the rest of her life pining over the one who got away. She wasn’t going to be tragic.
Today had been a good day. Better to focus on that instead of the things that sucked. She started up her Rihanna playlist and blasted it on the drive home, singing along off-key, not caring that the other drivers around her could see her doing it.
Her brother called just as she pulled into her parking space. A feeling of grim foreboding stole over her as she stared at his face on the screen. The end of the month was only two weeks away, and her mom still didn’t have anywhere to live.
“Hey, brother,” she said, shouldering her bags as she got out of the car. Her eyes skated over to Jonathan’s Lexus, parked beside hers. It was at a slightly different angle than it had been this morning, and there was a coffee cup in the console that hadn’t been there before.
She was going to need to work on this stalker thing if she was serious about getting over him.
“You’re not going to believe this,” Eric said.
“What?” Esther tore her eyes away from Jonathan’s car and headed toward the stairs.
