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“It did,” Esther said, avoiding his eyes. “Except for the part where apparently I’m aggressive and no one likes me.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Jinny said. “Everyone likes you.” She looked to Yemi for confirmation. “Right?”
“I like you,” he told Esther. “Otherwise I wouldn’t eat lunch with you so often.”
“See? People like you,” Jinny said. “Don’t let one mediocre review get under your skin.”
Esther nodded as she reached for her iced tea. “It’s just…someone else recently told me I can be mean sometimes.”
“Well…” Jinny tilted her head to one side. “That’s not entirely inaccurate.”
Esther stared at her. “Seriously?”
“You’re only mean to people who deserve it.”
“Great, thanks.”
“You have a low tolerance for incompetence,” Jinny said as she stirred her quinoa salad with her fork. It had cherry tomatoes and bell peppers and something else slimy and unidentifiable in it—squash, maybe. It looked almost as dire as the goulash. “But when it’s someone you like, you’re extremely patient and supportive. Like when you taught me how to knit.”
“That’s true, I guess,” Esther said, feeling a little better.
“It’s just when you’re dealing with someone you don’t like that you can maybe be a little brusque,” Jinny added. “You’re very binary about people. You either like them or you hate them. There’s no in between with you.”
Yeah, okay. Jinny might have a point. Esther had never been much of a people person. She liked her friends and was willing to do almost anything for them, but she didn’t have an abundance of patience for everyone else in the world. Most people were an inconvenience she’d just as soon not have to deal with. She supposed it was possible she let that show a little too much in her attitude at work.
She sighed as she helped herself to one of Jinny’s orange slices. “Maybe Diane’s right. Maybe I am too blunt sometimes.”
“Look,” Jinny said, “it was unfair and sexist of her to call you aggressive—”
“Yeah, it was,” Esther grumbled.
“But I think I get what she was trying to say. Just because it’s a double standard doesn’t mean you don’t still have to figure out how to navigate it. The world’s an unfair place and sexism isn’t going away anytime soon. She should have chosen a different word, but I think you should consider that she was trying to help you.”
“So, what? I’m supposed to censor myself? Play along to get along?” The idea of sucking up to less competent male engineers to bolster their fragile egos left a bad taste in Esther’s mouth. She looked over at Yemi. “You’ve been awfully quiet. What do you think?”
He looked up from his peanut butter sandwich, blinking like a possum caught in the headlights. “This situation is outside my experience. I don’t feel qualified to have an opinion.”
“Cop-out,” Jinny said.
“Yeah,” Esther said. “Come on, you have to weigh in on behalf of your gender.”
He frowned and pushed his glasses up. “Speaking only for myself, I think it’s possible for something to be two things at once. I think you can be angry that it’s sexist, but also try to learn something from it that will help you advance in your career.”
Leave it to Yemi to be pragmatic when Esther wanted to rage against the machine. She knew he was right though. You did have to play along to get along, even when it was unfair.
“Who called you mean, anyway?” Jinny asked, frowning.
“No one important,” Esther said with a shrug. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Well, just say the word and I will happily kick the ass of anyone who says anything bad about you.”
“You’re going to kick my manager’s ass?” Esther asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Jinny shrugged. “Maybe not kick her ass literally, but I’ll totally key her car for you if you want.”
“Let’s put a pin in that for now,” Esther said. “But thanks.”
“Anytime,” Jinny said, smiling.
