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Until Penny walked into his life and dismantled them brick by brick.
It’s still a little scary, letting himself be vulnerable. He’s a work in progress. But he’s learning, slowly, that he can expose his underbelly without being punished. That there is comfort and kindness in the world and that—improbably—he is deserving of it. That this is what unconditional love is like.
He wants the whole package now: marriage, kids, pets, a house with a white picket fence, and family vacations to Disney World. Whatever will make Penny happy, he wants to give it to her.
She looks up at him, and a little line appears between her brows. “What do you think about adding Guinness to the batter?”
“I think that sounds amazing.”
She takes a can out of the fridge and pops the top. When she’s done measuring out the quantity she needs, she waves the half-empty can at him. “You want to finish it?”
He’s supposed to be studying, but what the hell? It’s his birthday, and his best friend is baking him a cake.
He gets up from the table and wanders into their small kitchen to accept the beer. Takes a long drink as he leans back against the counter, watching Penny combine the last of the ingredients.
She fits the bowl into the stand mixer and flips it on. A loud mechanical whir fills the air. When she’s sure it’s mixing to her satisfaction, she turns back around and regards him from the opposite end of the kitchen. Her eyes narrow. “What?”
“What?” His fingers clench around the beer can and the metal lets out a small pop.
“You keep looking at me funny.”
His defenses are so worn down, he’s forgotten how to put his game face on. He takes another drink of beer. “Funny how?”
“Like you have a secret.” Her eyes narrow farther.
He sets the beer down and goes to stand in front of her, crowding her against the counter. “Not me.” He kisses the tip of her nose as his hands settle on her hips. “I’m an open book.” It’s a small lie, but one he hopes he can be forgiven for.
He tries not to think about what ifs. If George hadn’t had a heart attack in that place on that day, leaving Caleb an emotional wreck, he wouldn’t have played his hand by kissing Penny in that stairwell. She never would have known he had feelings for her. He would have gone to Mississippi and never seen her again.
He’d be living there right now, suffering through the misery of medical school for a father who would never give him the approval he craved. How long would he have lasted? Would he have knuckled under out of sheer stubbornness and lived out the rest of his life as a doctor? Or would he have crumbled under the pressure and washed out, earning even more of his father’s disgust?
He reaches up to touch Penny’s cheek. “Do you know you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known?”
She waves the compliment away, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. “Aw, go on.”
“You are.”
“No, I mean it. Go on.” The smile she flashes him is twinkly-eyed and teasing. “Keep complimenting me.”
His fingers trace the curve of her jaw. “You’re smart, you’re caring, you’re excellent in bed—”
“I was kidding.” Another exquisite blush streaks across her pale skin. “You don’t really have to keep giving me compliments.”
Too bad. He plans to spend the rest of his life complimenting her. “You do know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, right?”
She gives his thumb a gentle bite, then follows it up with a kiss. “Right back atcha.” Her eyes flick to the clock on the microwave and she twists in his grasp to shut off the mixer.
Caleb leans around her and dips a greedy finger in the chocolate batter.
“That has raw eggs in it!”
He grins and pops it in his mouth. It tastes heavenly.
She shakes her head at him. “Don’t blame me when you come down with salmonella.” When he goes in for another scoop she swats his hand. “Don’t fill up on cake batter or you won’t have room for dinner.”
They’re going out for a nice dinner tonight at a steakhouse. Candlelight, wine, the whole shebang. Then back home to eat cake before they fall into bed. Their bed. It’s Caleb’s idea of a perfect night.
Briefly, he toys with the idea of proposing over dinner tonight, right between the cocktails and the entree. Now that he’s made his decision, he wants to move on it. But he also wants to do this right. Choose his moment. Give her a ring. Make the moment special. She deserves that much, and it requires thought and careful planning.
