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“Rayven. Put down di knife.” Conrad said, and I shook my head as the distant sound of waves washed over me.
He was upset. I could always tell when he was upset.
I looked up at Rycon, who was glaring at the Obeah Man over my shoulder. He however, had also paused his work on the widowmaker’s flesh. His work was much cleaner than mine. More practiced.
“Go upstairs, Conrad.” I glowered, still refusing to face him. “I’ll be up in a bit.” Suddenly, I felt his warm hand close around my shoulder and I jumped, spinning around. Before I knew what I was doing, the blade was pressed against his throat.
I was holding a knife to Conrad’s throat.
I gasped and immediately dropped the knife. It clattered to the ground and the sharp tang of the steel against stone seemed to pull me from the trance-like state I had entered.
I hadn’t meant to do that.
Conrad didn’t flinch and the absolute trust he had that I wouldn’t hurt him felt like a slap in the face.
“Conrad, I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean…” My voice cracked, and he looked at me like he was worried I might break at any moment.
“Mi know, gyall, it’s ‘aight.” He murmured gently. “Yuh ‘aight.”
Everything felt like it was too much. My power and rage were bubbling up inside me and I felt like my heart was about to smash right out of my chest.
I was losing control.
The Obeah Man looked like he was debating whether or not to try touching me again before raising his warm brown gaze over my shoulder to meet Rycon’s. I didn’t miss the way his eyes took in the barely conscious widowmaker; which was now missing nearly a third of its skin.
I knew he was mentally speaking to Rycon, and that I wasn’t invited to the metaphysical conversation, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. There wasn’t enough room for me to care about anything other than getting Amon and Kasha back. But I was already failing. I had been down here for what felt like hours, and I hadn’t learned even one useful thing. My eyes stung with tears and my shadows whipped around me in agitation.
“Take a break, Kitten.” Rycon said abruptly from behind me. My head whipped around, and the look on his face was grave. “The Obeah Man is right. Go chill with your pops for a bit. I’ll finish up here.”
My pops?
Jeremy, he was referring to Jeremy.
Suddenly the barely controlled panic and rage was replaced with a rush of guilt. How long had I been down here? I had left Jeremy upstairs, in a strange new world, surrounded by daemons and magick folk he didn’t know at all. I glanced back at Conrad and he bent down to pick up my blade from the ground, handing it back to me hilt first. I winced as the widowmaker blood on the blade stained his fingertips.
I wiped the blade off on my thigh, and Conrad held his hand out to me.
“I’ll bring your other one up when I’m done.” Rycon called after us as Conrad led me out of the cell. I frowned, suddenly realizing that if I left, my shadows would need to come with me.
“What will you do for restraints?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. Rycon grinned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“You know I like it when they fight back.” He winked at me. Finally, I nodded and let Conrad tug me away. I glanced back one last time to see the shifter turn his attention back to the cowering widowmaker. He was no longer smiling.
“Alone at last.” He purred to the fiend. We turned the corner just as the screaming started up again.
The common room was empty. I nearly physically staggered with the blow of the emptiness of it. No Kasha. No Amon. I kept feeling like I would see him waiting for me around every corner, in every hallway. I saw him looking out over our court when I walked past the pit, I caught a flash of silver hair down the hall ahead of us as we made our way towards our room.
‘Hello, Raven,’ I could almost hear him greet me as the door swung open to what used to be his bedroom but had recently become our bedroom. My aura bled out into the space, and I realized with a start that it was looking for him.
I was half of a whole, a body without a soul. A heart without a beat.
“He’s not here.” I whispered, not sure who I was talking to.
He was gone.
“Rayven,” Conrad said softly, and I turned to face him, my eyes filled with unshed tears. He was looking at me with so much empathy and love, I could barely stand it.
“Why don’t yuh get cleaned up, mi get Jeremy. Yuh two can reconnect.”
