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“She has no clue what she’s missing,” he finishes. Yakov lifts himself up on one elbow and looks down at me. The chiseled line of his jaw is even more apparent in the dark room.
I reach out and stroke my finger over his cheekbone. “How come you get to keep looking like that while I look like this?” I poke at my bump between us.
“You look gorgeous.”
I snort. “I feel like a whale. Even my socks are too tight now. I’m afraid they’re going to cut off my circulation.”
Yakov palms my bump and then strokes his hand over my hip and down my thigh, trailing fire in his wake. “Do I need to prove to you exactly how attractive I find you? Because I will. I’m dead tired from painting all day, but I’ll make that sacrifice if it will make you feel better.”
Heat pools between my legs, but I gently pat his chest. “As nice as that sounds, it’s okay. I’m just feeling a little homesick.”
“This is your home now, solnyshka.”
“I know. It is,” I agree. “I’m not homesick for a place, but… for a person, maybe? For people? Is that even a thing? I called Kayla to tell her about the babies and it hit me how much my life has changed in a short amount of time. Sometimes, I miss who I was before.”
His face is unreadable and I hurry to explain myself.
“I could never ever regret you or our babies, but I was ripped out of my life without any chance for closure. One day, it was there, and the next, it was gone. It’s hard to say goodbye when things happen suddenly like that.”
Yakov’s jaw clenches. “I know what that feels like.”
“Your dad,” I breathe. “Of course you know what that’s like. I wasn’t even thinking.”
“I didn’t realize that’s what I’d done to you.”
I roll onto my side and rest my hand on his cheek. “You didn’t, Yakov. Please don’t ever think that meeting you and coming here was a tragedy. It wasn’t. It’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
His brow is creased and I stretch my thumb up to smooth it away.
“I’m serious,” I tell him. “I choose you over everything. Every time. No regrets.”
His green eyes are fierce as he nods. “I believe you. But one day, I’m going to give you the closure you need. Soon, this will all be over and you’ll have the freedom that you used to have. You won’t be a prisoner in your own home and you can see your friends as often as you want.” His thumb strokes over my cheek. “But first, I need to make sure you’re safe. You and our babies are all I care about. I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.”
His mouth tips into a small smile. “I love you, solnyshka.”
“I love you, too, Yakov.”
Yakov pulls me against his chest and I close my eyes.
I know Yakov is doing everything he can to protect our family. I trust him. I just can’t help but wonder if it will ever be enough. Will we ever be safe outside the walls of this mansion?
And if we aren’t, can I stay hidden inside forever?
54
YAKOV
If hell exists, it’s full of flat-pack furniture.
I’ve been sitting on the nursery floor hunched over the instructions for a children’s dresser for two hours. There are only three drawers. How hard could this be? The handles are multicolored pompoms, for fuck’s sake.
But underneath the frill there are also one hundred individual screws. I should hire whoever designed this fucking thing. It’s a masterclass in torture.
“I’ll tear down a wall and build a fucking closet,” I snap, wadding up the instructions. “That’ll be easier than this.”
I’m about to get up and find a sledgehammer. Then I remember Luna’s face when the package arrived. The way she lit up explaining to me that she had little baskets that would fit inside the drawers to organize their onesies and booties and whatever the fuck else babies need.
