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My nails dug into my calves beneath the water. “Everything. Stripping, stage performances, front room, and back room. I’ve done all of it since I started.”
“You were so young.”
“Not everyone has family to support them. I didn’t have a choice except to leave home as soon as I could. I stayed with Stella for two years before that, but then she moved in with her asshole husband and I couldn’t be there anymore. I sucked it up with Mom until I was of age and left the same day.”
I wasn’t sure what I expected, but Luca’s arms around me wasn’t it. His cheek pressed against mine. “I wish you’d had what you needed. I’m sorry you didn’t.”
“It was a long time ago,” I said, trying to wave off the swell of emotion that clogged my throat.
“Do you still need the money?” he asked quietly.
“Sort of? The club paid for my apartment and my university. It’s paying for my sister’s degree right now and I’ve been putting aside as much as I can, but it never feels like enough. Can you please tell me what you think about all of it?”
“What do you mean?”
I pulled away from him and rotated in the bath so I could see him. “Luca, this job is why I can’t give you sexual exclusivity. Because I take clients for money and I don’t want to give up that security. Don’t play dumb with me.”
He searched my face, his gaze flicking around. “But it’s your body. You can do what you want. Why does it matter what I think?”
“Because. I need to know if you’re ending things now that you know all of this.”
“Ending things?” I didn’t know what to do with the shock on his face. “I thought it was pretty obvious how much I like you. Why would you be worried I’d end things?”
I wrapped my arms around my knees and stared down at the water. “Luca, no one has ever been as nice to me as you’ve been. At least not romantically. Of course I’m fucking worried. This isn’t like heat helping.”
“You’re right, it’s not, but I don’t see why that matters. This is a job you like, and it’s one that’s helped you feel safe, right?”
I nodded slowly.
“I might not be able to totally understand, but I’m not some judgy asshole who’s going to look down on you for either of those things. And like I said from the beginning, I’ll take what I can get.”
I opened my mouth, but he held up a finger to keep me quiet.
“I don’t mean I’ll settle for scraps, but I don’t consider sharing you with people who make you secure to be scraps. That’s your job and obviously one you feel comfortable doing since you’ve been there for so long. All I care about is that you’re safe.”
Water sloshed over the edge of the tub as I dove toward him, pressing my sodden self against him.
“Do any of the people you entertain at the club get to come here?”
“God, no. Never.”
“So what you’re saying is I’m the favorite?”
I felt the smile in his tone down to my toes. “Most definitely.”
“Then we have no problem. But please let me know if I ever slip in the rankings so I can up my game.”
I let out a sound that was half laugh and half sob. “Really?”
“Really really,” he replied. “Now, let’s get you all dried up for bed.” Luca toweled me off and kissed my forehead.
“I’m still not ready for nest sharing, but would you stay? Just for tonight.”
He scoffed. “Would I stay? Like you have to ask.”
Luca gathered up a pair of blankets, spreading one onto my training mats for us to lay on and another on top, plus a pair of pillows from the couch. Sleep clawed at me as he curled around me and I buried my face against his chest. His scent was so fresh like this, and it was exactly what I needed.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
