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His mouth clicked shut and he grunted, giving in with a huff. “Fine, but only because I know you’ll keep arguing with me otherwise, and you need rest.”
I shrugged, not bothering to dispute that. He was right. After all, I would have argued until I won.
Sliding out of the car, I led him inside and kicked off my heels. Instant relief hit, and I set my purse on the table by the door. He waited, shifting between his feet as I waved him toward the bathroom.
“Come on, it shouldn’t take long.”
I heard him follow me further into the apartment, his steps slow as if he were walking on eggshells. When he didn’t lose that caution even after I had him seated on the lip of the tub, I snorted.
“You don’t have to treat me like I’m glass. What happened back there rattled me, but I’m not going to shatter at the slightest bump.” I said, carefully cleaning his knuckles as I did.
He bit back a hiss when I hit a tender spot, but he didn’t try to pull away. Instead, he took a deep breath and nodded.
“I know you’re not glass.”
I raised a brow, swiping the rag over his bleeding knuckles again. “Then why are you so tense?” I couldn’t help it, I snorted. “Do you think I’m going to throw myself at you, in clichéd damsel in distress fashion? I won’t, if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t put myself where I’m not wanted.”
His hand flipped over, fingers curling around mine and squeezing almost painfully. He shifted to look at me, his eyes intense and brimming with something I didn’t have a name for. When he spoke, his voice rumbled with honesty.
“That’s the problem though, Bea. I do want you, and it’s not your resistance I’m worried about failing.”
The words seemed to echo in the sudden silence that followed and I froze, watching as he gave a rueful smile.
“When that prick back there cornered you, all I could think about was making it in time. Then I got there to see his filthy hands on you, and I couldn’t see anything but red. Now we’re here, and I’m feeling things I never have before. I want to curl you into a blanket and hide you from the world.”
He looked away, grimacing. “I want to touch everywhere he did and erase his memory from your skin.”
Air lodged in my lungs, refusing to come out as I slowly digested what he was saying. This sounded like a confession, but that didn’t make sense. He already said he wasn’t interested in more.
And yet…
Biting my lip, I asked, the words painfully loud in the quiet bathroom. “Will, you’re talking like you want more than a fling from me, and I’ll remind you that I’m open to that.”
He lurched upright, jerking his hand away as he walked from one end of the bathroom to the other, his hands in his hair as he tugged in frustration.
“But that’s just the thing, Beatrice! I can’t do what you want. I’ve never been one for relationships, they’re too constricting, and if we try one only for it to fall apart it would destroy so much…”
Realization dawned slowly and I stayed seated, watching as he resumed his pacing. This whole time I’d assumed he wasn’t interested in more, but by the sound of it that wasn’t the case.
The truth hurt worse.
Finally standing, I moved in front of him and stared up into his eyes. They held wariness and fear, not a combo I ever expected to see on him.
Fighting back my own feelings on the matter, I spoke. “So you’re afraid of it failing to the point you don’t even want to try.”
He jerked back as if I’d slapped him. “No, that isn’t-.”
I cut him off, on a roll now. “You didn’t say you didn’t want a relationship, you said if we were to try one it would destroy things. As for them being constricting, it depends on the people. Everyone is different, and couples aren’t the exception.”
His mouth opened and closed, no words coming out. When he didn’t recover after a minute, I rubbed a hand down my face and asked.
“Answer me this and for the love of all that’s holy, don’t lie to me. Is the idea of having a relationship with me what you’re against, or are you only afraid of the potential problems that might come from it?”
He choked, shaking his head. “Bea-.”
I glared him down. “Because you don’t act like someone who’s only interested in me sexually. Those people don’t growl at men who ask me to dance, those people don’t beat men bloody because they almost hurt me.”
I looked him dead in the eyes. “You don’t act like someone who only wants one thing from me, and you need to decide what it is you actually want. Because if it’s a relationship, we can figure out everything together. There’ll be hard times, bad days where we’ll fight, and one or both of us will say something hurtful, but we can work through that.”
