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My clit throbs as I get lost in thought.
God, I’m sick. I was married for eighteen years. I don’t want it to sound like I was lusting after another man the entire time, because I wasn’t. I wanted things to work with Steve. I loved him. And truthfully, if anyone has been idealized, it’s him. Time after time I let him put me down and make me feel like nothing, only so I could convince myself later that he wasn’t a bad guy, and that I was the problem. I lived for eighteen years on an idealized version of a man I thought I loved.
Sometimes, I think about how unhappy I was, and I wish I’d have told Sergei what I was feeling. Maybe by now we’d have a little place of our own. Everleigh would have siblings and she’d think of Sergei as a second father. We’d have eighteen years of a life to look back on. I’d have a story. I’d have a person. I’d have a home. Instead, Everleigh has moved on and I’m sure she feels she has nothing to come back to. Me, I’m left here with a billion hobbies that all add up to nothing.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I’m thankful for the reprieve. I’m not sure how to answer Lark’s question. “Sorry, I’ve got to take this. I’m on call this weekend.”
“Maybe. Not now, though. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.” Lark smiles before nodding and redirecting her attention toward her own cell as the waitress brings us a fresh pot of tea.
“Nurse Aspen here. What can I help you with?”
“Hey there.” The man’s voice on the other end of the line is dark and rough. “I’m looking for someone to do a wellness check with my dad. I think he had pneumonia.”
“Had?”
“Yeah. He’s doing better for the most part, but I think he’d benefit from a good listen to his lungs. Can I have someone come up to the cabin and check?”
“I’m confused. So, this isn’t an emergency?”
The man hesitates. “No. I think he’s doing better. I’d just like to check before we travel. Is this the emergency line?”
“Yeah. I’m only taking emergency calls today. It’s Saturday. I’d be happy to see your father in my office on Monday. What time works for you?”
“I’ll never get him to come down off the mountain. Hell, it’s been a struggle getting him to see a doctor at all.”
A lot of men up here are the rough and tough kind. The too good for medical care kind. The live off tree sap and prayers kind. “If he doesn’t want help, I can’t do much for him. I’m sorry.”
The man on the phone groans. “I’ll make it worth your time. Double pay.”
“I appreciate that, but I can’t force a patient to receive care.”
“He doesn’t know what’s good for him.”
“None of us do, sir. Can I make the appointment for you on Monday?”
The man drags in a deep breath. “Sure. Can I get you to come up to the house, though?”
“No, sir. I’ve played this game with many tough men like your father. They all refuse care. I need to be available to clients who want to be seen.”
He huffs. “I understand. Let me make an appointment then. I’ll call you if we can’t make it.”
I pull my phone away from my ear and check my calendar. “Looks like I have ten a.m. on Monday morning. Does that work for you?”
“Sure.”
“Okay, name?”
“Laskin. Rowan Laskin. You might have heard of us. Everyone in town has something to say about how we’re…”
The man goes on but the name sticks.
Laskin.
My heart stops and my mouth goes dry.
“What’s your father’s name?”
“Sergei.”
