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I don't know how long I sit looking into space when someone sits next to me, her Chanel perfume hitting my senses, and I don't even think. I place my head on her shoulder, making her sniffle a little because this is something I haven't done since finding out about Mary's illness. I never lean on my parents anymore; somehow, that makes me sadder.
"I'm sorry, baby." She rasps after a little while. I give her a nod. She couldn't do the speech, so why not get her other daughter to do it?
"It's okay, Momma," I rasp back, but she shakes her head, "No, I shouldn't have put that pressure on you; you didn't deserve it, and I didn't even tell you myself; too hurt to speak. Instead, I got the woman who already sees you as her daughter to do it, and it wasn't fair on you because I know you haven't forgiven her son yet." I hum because she's right: "You, my sweet girl, have been mine and your father's rocks for the past eight years when you shouldn't have been; we should have been yours."
The room quietens, listening to our words, but we don't pay attention. "Momma, your daughter was sick."
She hums, "Yes, she was, but what about you, Sarah? You needed me, too; you needed your father, and we pushed you back and allowed you to block off your emotions from us so we didn't have to worry about you, too. You were seventeen, Sarah, and you put your whole life on the back burner to help your father and me. You did everything for us, and baby, I'm so sorry, so very sorry that we made you feel like you had to."
I sniffle, "I wouldn't have changed it, Momma."
She squeezes me and says, "And that's because of your golden heart, my daughter. I have never said this, but I think I should have a very long time ago, but I'm so proud of you, Sarah, so very proud," I sniffle as she squeezes me, "but now it's time for you to do things for yourself, not everyone else. You have put your life on hold for far too long, and your father and I never should have let you. We never should have put our financial burdens on you unintentionally. It's time for you to live, sweetheart." She squeezes me tightly. "Now, I have one last question for you." She takes a deep breath. "That money—the money you worked so hard for, saved up just for your little sister to have her dream—what do you plan on doing with it?"
I sniffle again and shrug as she runs her fingers through my hair. "I don't know; there's over $30,000 in my savings. I was supposed to make the payment next month, but-but Momma, I-I don't want, I-I can't...."
Momma hums gently, trying to calm my breath, "Then how would you feel about starting a foundation in honor of your sister? Maybe to help children with cancer?"
I furrow my brows and think a little, and she lets me while the whole room watches to see what my decision would be. I could use it for myself and get myself an apartment, but the thought of it makes me want to throw up. Then, an idea comes to mind before I blink with a small smile, "underprivileged students wanting to dance."
Momma nods, "I like the sound of that baby."
I sniffle again, "Maybe we can find sponsors and call it Mary Alice's dancing dream?"
Momma nods and holds me tighter when Snake says, "You've got your first sponsor right here, Spitfire."
I lock eyes with him, his eyes softening toward me and making my heart flutter. I manage a small smile when another voice to my side also speaks up, "You've also got the Untamed Hell Fire's sponsor."
I look at Axel as my tears start to fall. I mouth 'thank you' to him, making him nod as my Momma sniffles, "You see, darling girl, your heart is so big that you've got these big badass bikers at your back willing to do this for you, for your sister. I think it's time you started living for yourself now; your father and I, it's time we started to act like your parents. No more hiding your emotions from me, do you hear?" I give her a nod as I let out a little sob, wrapping my hand around my Momma before she rasps, "I'm guessing it was you and your sister that filled my washroom with bubbles three years ago that destroyed my hardwood flooring that soaked through to the kitchen?"
My eyes widened as my father snorted but coughed to cover it. The men in the room all raise a brow at me as Snake mutters, "Fuck, we never should have introduced her to Annalise," who snorts. I clear my throat, not moving my head as I mumble, "It-it was uh… Mary's idea," making the whole room laugh. Momma's body shakes against mine with silent laughter. I close my eyes as hope fills me that we're going to be okay and that Mary's spirit will live on in us as I rasp, "I miss you, Tiny Dancer," making Momma hold me tighter to her before I do as she finally asks.
I lean on her and sob, gripping her hand in mine while Snake looks on in pain as his father grabs his arm to keep him in place.
Chapter 22
Sarah – A Week Later
I wipe under my eyes as I place flowers on my sister's grave. I've come here every other day when Snake has been busy for the past week. The bossy alpha-hole that he is doesn't like me out of his sight. I mentioned this morning that I need to start looking for a place to stay, knowing going home would be too difficult. Snake nearly bit my head off when I told him I wanted to leave the clubhouse. He mentioned something about tying me to his bed if I would ever dream of going after he walked out of the common room to several brothers trying not to laugh, and that was after Sniper decided to question me about the phone call he received from Dave's motors one town over, and all that was before I overheard Hunter, damn, Snake, in the shower, pleasuring himself while calling out my name as he came, making my thighs quiver and my stomach flutter.
Three weeks with no sex, and I already feel like I'm barely holding on by a thread.
I sigh as I take a seat next to my sister's grave, the soil still lumped up since the burial, "Snipers mad at me, Tiny Dancer. I finally decided to bite the bullet and apply for different jobs. Brendan has won the lottery, little sister; he's decided to sell the diner. The man is amazing because he paid your medical bills, so I no longer need to worry about Momma and Daddy." I look up to the sky as tears shine in my eyes, fed up with crying. "I needed another purpose now that you're not here, and Dave, the garage owner, has decided to give me a go on a trial basis. I know you wanted me to give Snake another chance, but I think I need time; I need it to be on my terms and not as a wish for you. He may not have cheated, but he let someone else touch him—someone who I thought was my best friend before she turned into a whore and took my then-boyfriend. To be fair, I should thank her because we both know how he turned out." I let out a sigh. "I don't know. My feelings are all over the place, Mary. I love him, but how he spoke to me and treated me," I shake my head. "How can we get past all the hurt?"
A few tears fall, and I sniffle, rubbing my hand over the fresh soil. I sit for about an hour, knowing I must return before Snake sends out a search party.
"I miss you, Tiny Dancer. I'll come see you in a few days. I love you."
Sniffling, I lean forward and kiss her stone before getting up, wiping the mud off my jean-covered ass. I look at her grave again, the daisies moving a little against her stone with the slight breeze, before walking back to my truck.
I hate leaving her, but I know I won't have long before the search party starts. With a sigh, I climb into my truck and gently start her, knowing the ignition is playing up.
I really need to have a look at that.
Twenty minutes later, I'm pulling into the club gates. Liam gives me a half smile as he opens them, which soon turns into a smirk as he looks toward the club doors, making me look that way with a furrowed brow before I sigh at the image before me.
Snake, and boy, does he look pissed.
I park up as he walks my way and give him an innocent smile, but he just shakes his head and says, "Nope, not falling for it this time, Spitfire. I fell for it when you and Annalise somehow managed to spray glitter all over the brothers' bikes. Still, this time, no, you know, after our conversation this morning, I'd worry about you."
