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I wince before pointing at him, "Okay, the glitter was an accident. I told you the spray paint wasn't supposed to go off; it was only meant to scare you all, and this morning, you knew that was coming Snake."
And it was an accident, though the looks on the brothers' faces were hilarious. I heard my father thanking Annalise for making me laugh, causing the brothers to sigh, knowing they wouldn't want to ruin it for me, so we were let off.
Kind of sweet of them, really.
Snake's jaw ticks when I use his club's name. I may not always be able to think 'Snake' in my head, but I've made sure to call him his road name out loud. We're not a couple anymore, not since he kicked me out of his clubhouse after humiliating me. Heck, even Smokey looked at him with a wince that day, knowing he did the same thing two years ago with the woman he'd been trying to win back, though he was way worse, yet Snake didn't even think; he went through with his screwed-up plan and hurt me.
I warned him I'd never forget; maybe he should have listened.
"Okay, Spitfire, let's return because we need to talk."
I raise a brow at him, but he doesn't budge. He raises his brow and tilts his head, and I sigh before going around the back of my truck, heading to the club's garden with a sigh. I know we need to talk, but I need more time to prepare.
When I enter the garden, some brothers sit at the benches as Smokey waves at me, pushing a little girl in the swings. I smile, knowing it's April, Olivia's little girl. Smokey is madly in love with her, but like this idiot who's now sitting next to on the swing here, he listened to a jealous woman and kicked off with her. Still, he did it at a family BBQ in front of her then-two-year-old; safe to say, she turned into a Momma-bear, and he lost her.
The idiot.
Now she's been dating someone else, not willing to give him another chance, though, between us, it's not going anywhere; she hasn't even let the man kiss her. Well, that's what Annie and Rose said; how they know, I don't know.
Snake places his arm over the back of the swing, moving his foot slightly, making the swing move as his hand gently plays with the tip of my ponytail.
"How are you doing, baby?"
I slightly smile; he knew where I went, which is unsurprising. With a slight hum, I rasp, "I miss her," and he nods and replies, "I know you do," before sighing and running his hand over his head, "I don't want to lose you, Sarah. I won't lose you."
I swallow hard and nod, "But I warned you; I needed you, and you let me down—I warned you, Snake."
He butts in, the hate at my using his road name showing in his eyes, "Trust me, I know you did. I ignored it because I thought you were lying, and I made a mistake."
I blink a couple of times. It was two weeks before I saw him again after that day in the club when I needed him, "And what else did you do?" He looks my way with guilt. I had a feeling something else had happened; don't ask me how I just did. "I'm not stupid, Snake," he flinches. "The way you look at me, I see hints of guilt, and for some reason, I don't think it's because of Shelby."
He looks forward and swallows hard for a few minutes, his jaw ticking and debating himself before looking back at me and rasping, "A week after I did what I did, I drank myself into a stupor. I, fuck Sarah, don't make me say this, baby." My heart pounds and I can already feel my tears building, my heart breaking as he runs a hand over his head, knowing I won't budge. "Fuck, I shoved my tongue down Suzy's throat, a striper at our club; it didn't go any further than that and a grope, I swear, baby I..."
I look forward, and he cuts his words off. His fingers continue to move through my ponytail as I make eye contact with Smokey, who furrows his brows before he looks at his best friend, his pres and his eyes widen, probably realizing he told me the truth that he clearly knew about before he got his phone out.
I know I can't be mad at him; we technically weren't together, but if he felt even the smidge of what I felt for him for me, he wouldn't have even touched another woman; the thought would disgust him like it does me.
I have been so conflicted for weeks about what to do with us since that horrible day at his club. I had my dying sister trying to convince me to go speak to him, to take him to the hospital, but yet, all I could think about was how, if he loved me like I loved him, he wouldn't have listened to someone else over me; he wouldn't have outright accused me and made his mind up; he would have spoken to me about the accusations where I would have put him in his place.
He clearly doesn't love me at all, and that thought breaks a little bit of me.
'Sorry, Tiny Dancer,'I whisper in my thoughts.
With a nod, my decision was made easily. I get up off the swing, Snake quickly following as he gently grabs my arm and rasps, "Sarah," but when I look at him, my eyes show full heartbreak; his hand drops, his other rubbing over his head with worry as I shake my head at him before walking away.
He may not have cheated because he ended things with me, but it doesn't hurt any less because not only did he think so little of me after I gave him myself, but he also then decided he didn't respect me enough to go with another woman, even if it was just his lips against hers and his hand over her body; if this was the other way around, he'd never forgive me.
I squeeze my eyes tightly at the visual as I get to my truck. I climb in and start her up, ignoring Snake and now Sniper, who have run from around the corner. I hear them both calling for me as I reverse out of my spot; the club gate is already open as a delivery truck enters, making my escape easy. Liam tries to stop me, but I just speed off down the road, needing time.
I drive around for hours, my mind going all over the place. I don't want to return to the club; I can't go to my sister's grave because that's where they'll all look. I know my parents are away. My dad wanted to give Momma a break and took her to New York to start the proceedings for the foundation so I didn't have to.
I swallow hard before maneuvering my truck towards my parents' house—a house I haven't been to since Mary passed. I need to be surrounded by her, and maybe, just maybe, she can help me in spirit.
Chapter 23
Snake
I sigh as I take a swig of the beer that Allan passes to me. He's just turned eighteen and has grown up around the club, with his mother being a club whore. He's a good kid wanting to prove himself better than the life he's been given, though, honestly, the brothers raised him.
