Page 33 of Smokey

Real subtle, Mother.

I sigh. "Mom…."

She butts in, "Darling, when are you going to give him the chance he deserves? It's been two years, and this grudge has gone on far too long. And I'm sorry, but we both know Harris isn't the one. According to Phil, you haven't even kissed him yet."

I flinch at her words. Damn it, Phil.

I forgave Smokey months ago for his treatment of me. Heck, I even sympathized. One of the club brothers turned against them, someone he saw as family, and he was hurt. Him not trusting me, well, that was what I struggled with, but I understood. Smokey's been amazing toward me since, but his treatment and love of April helped me forgive him.

The man owns my heart, body, and soul.

I love him.

But he's trying to work things out with his wife—ex-wife, whatever she is. Most days, I question why he keeps trying with me, and sometimes I stop and think maybe he loves me, but then her words ring in my ear.

"He's only using you to get back at me."

It builds up your insecurities, and you wonder how real things truly were with the two of you when he has a woman he's been married to, with whom he has a past and a connection, telling you things and showing you photos of him laughing.

I won't be a home wrecker. I just can't be. Even if he is my heart, he was hers first.

I go to tell my mother all of this, ready to tell her the truth, but my phone goes off, making me sigh. It could be Phil, who I convinced to go to his 8pm class instead of blowing it off. I promised him I'd immediately return his texts to keep his mind at ease. I lean over to the little table tray and grab my phone but furrow my brows at the unknown number.

Unknown: He never did love you. He'll always be hers and Kallie’s.

I click on the attachment, and my tears automatically fall. Smokey, in the same clothes as this morning, is leaning back against a wall, pure pleasure etching his features as some woman in nothing but skimpy underwear has his dick in her mouth, her hands between his legs.

A sob works its way out of my throat as pain shoots through me, making my momma rush over to me, taking my phone. She sucks in a breath before locking my phone, placing it back on the tray, then cupping my cheeks.

"Baby…."

I shake my head. "He-he w-warned me I-I'd lose him, e-even th-though he was-wasn't mine to lose."

Sobs wrack my body as my mother takes me in her arms, holding me tightly, rocking slightly.

She murmurs, "You haven't lost him, baby. That photo…he's hurting, sweetheart. You keep pushing him away, and he's hurting."

I sob some more, wishing this pain would go away as my mother tries to soothe me.

I don't know how long I sob on my mother's shoulder, but by the time I've calmed down, my eyes feel puffy, my nose is snotty, and my head hurts.

I pull back, and my mother cups my cheeks. "This reaction is not from someone holding a grudge, baby."

I nod slightly. "His-his ex-wife has come-come to see me a lot."

Momma sighs. "She's got in your head and told you they're reconciling?"

I nod, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hands. "Even if-if it's not true, she-she deserves a chance to try and win her love back, right? She had-had him first."

Momma sighs again. "You are too kind-hearted, sweetheart, but honestly, the man I've seen these past two years does not want his ex-back; he wants you. And I know that picture looks bad, but darling girl, it's been two years of you constantly pushing him away. He was bound to snap." She kissed my head before rasping, "You need to think about what you really want, Olivia, before you lose him for good. There's only so much a man can take, and that picture proves he's starting to crack. Speak to him about his ex, hear it from his own mouth. See if they truly are trying to sort their relationship out. I can guarantee you now that the woman is lying, which I think you likely figured out a while ago but didn't want to admit you’d allowed her to ruin your relationship."

With that, she leaves me on my own as my daughter sleeps.

I sniffle. Could she be lying? Did I fall for bullshit and let her ruin my relationship?

If so, then I know I don't deserve him anyway.

A few hours later, I stir when I hear the door open, only to see Smokey walk in.

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