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But in this moment, she needed him.
She had never needed anyone before in her life, not like this.
Matt pulled her face to his and kissed her. His lips, his tongue, his touch. He held her to him as his mouth clung to hers. They sat there on the roof, under the stars, the waves crashing in the distance, two different songs coming at them from two different directions, and he held her.
When she could breathe again, she looked at him. The intensity and love on his face almost undid her. What could she offer this man? She had done everything in her power to keep him at a distance, but he kept coming back to her. Making her a whole person.
She didn’t know what to think about that revelation, didn’t want to think too hard on it. But she didn’t want to let him go.
She feared she would have no other choice.
Matt reached into his pocket and without a word handed her a familiar object.
Her LAPD badge.
“Matt—I—”
He kissed her. “I talked to Lieutenant Gomez this afternoon. Then we went to the chief of police.”
“I don’t want—can’t—work here.”
“No. You can’t. You deserve better. But, you’re right, there are hurdles you would have to jump through to be an FBI agent. Hurdles that are there for a reason, and I believe in them, but I also know that sometimes those same hurdles keep good people out. If you want to stay on my team, your slot is there. I already talked to Tony, and he’s completely on board. Same agreement. You work for LAPD, on permanent loan to the FBI. They pay you—in fact, they’re giving you a raise—and you keep your badge and your promotion.”
Kara stared at her badge. Closed her eyes. “Matt—”
“Don’t say no. Please.”
“I wasn’t going to.” She smiled. “I didn’t think this was an option. I thought—I don’t know. I didn’t know what I was going to do. But this feels right. This feels like where I need to be.”
“You earned it, Kara. You are a good cop, and my team is better because you’re on it. I also talked to Sloane tonight. Brian Granderson offered her a job with his team, but she declined. She asked to be assigned to Montana, where her family is. I offered her a job on our team. She’s going to think about it. I don’t think she was expecting the offer, but I hope she takes it. I even sweetened the pot with a promise she can commute from Montana.”
“Commute? How would that work?”
“She’d be on our team, but deploy out of the Montana office. I think she’ll take it.”
“Good.”
“You like her?”
“Yeah, I do. She’s different than all of us, sees things from a different perspective, and she’s calm, like Ryder. It’s all good.”
“I agree.”
They sat holding hands and it felt so right.
“Kara, I’m a better cop and a better man with you as a partner—working and off duty. I love you. I know you don’t like to hear it, but I do.”
She looked over and thought she saw a gleam of moisture in his eyes, then it was gone.
She kissed him. “I’m going to sell my condo. I don’t know that I can come back...and I want to find a place on the East Coast.”
“You’ll always have a place with me.”
“I know. And maybe...someday...but I need my own space right now. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
He stiffened, tightened his grip on her. “What?”
She didn’t realize what she’d said until the words came out.
