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I don’t miss that all of them flinch at the reminder of my disorder. “It’s going to work out,” Ford growls.
“I hope so,” I concede, fingering the band of the ring on my hand. “But you also have to understand if I’m not tripping over myself to move in with you so you can keep an eye on me. It’s not a good enough reason. Not for me.”
Davis’s hands flex on my hips, and he drops a kiss to my neck. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I didn’t mean it like that.” He trails his lips up to my ear, brushing the shell as he says, “What I meant was we need you with us, Vee. We need you here with your pack. We need to be able to take care of you, worship you, make sure you never feel alone again. We’re your alphas, your pack, and we have all kinds of instincts driving us. You know that, don’t you, beautiful? You know it’s not just a want to make sure you’re safe and healthy, but a need. We need it. The easiest way for us to do that is if you’re living with us, here, where we can make sure you’re getting everything. The whole fucking world.”
They’ve all closed ranks again, pressing close, blocking out the rest of the world. My favorite scents blend together, making my mouth water and my thighs clench. The omega in me loves Davis’s statement, that primal need to let them take care of me, to just say fuck it and give in to their whims batters at me.
But I can’t just do that, can I?
Why can’t you, Vee? Why can’t you grab on to this happiness with both hands? Why can’t you just give in?
Because what they did hurt. Whether I should have stayed or not, they fucking hurt me with their actions. Almost killed me. I don’t want to risk that kind of heartbreak again.
But is this any better? This one foot in, one foot out?
No. If they left me now, it would hurt just as much as it would if I give them everything I am.
It’s too late for anything else.
“What if… I stayed a few nights a week? Not full time.” I glance around the circle of men around me. “That way, we can try it out. Make sure it’s a good fit.”
They all look at me like I’m some kind of idiot. “We’re the perfect fit,” Topher tells me. “You know that. But if you need a little more time, we can certainly give it to you.”
“Having you here a few nights a week would be a dream, angel.”
“One night for each of us,” Davis presses, as Topher extracts me from his grip, making him pout.
I chuckle. “That’s five nights, Davis. I might as well just move in then.”
“You said it, not me,” he shrugs, as Topher kisses me softly.
“How did your doctor’s appointment go?” Jackson asks, hand pressing into my lower back to guide me over to the kitchen island, where he helps me onto a stool.
Topher returns to the stove, moving pots back to the burners. My stomach clenches at what Dr. Attersby told me, at how soon I’ll be back to normal. Though I don’t even know what that means. Normal. This has been my normal for so long. The body aches and the nausea, the inability to keep food down. I’ve noticed I’ve put on some weight since I’ve been able to eat regular meals while in town. My curves filling out, my cheeks a little less sunken.
I’m already on my way to be a functioning human again. This is just the last step.
I smile at Asher as he slides a glass of sparkling water in front of me, complete with a lemon wedge. “It was good. She said she didn’t see a reason it wouldn’t be safe, but she took some blood to run tests, just to be sure. She’ll be calling with the results sometime tonight.”
“If it looks good,” Ford says, leaning back against a counter and crossing his arms over his chest. “She can stop taking her suppressants tonight. They’ll be out of her system by next week.”
“That soon?” Davis asks sounding a little… worried. “Are you sure that’s… Do you want to be off them right away?”
I do. God, I want to no longer go through life pumped full of medication. I have no idea of the long-term effects, but they can’t possibly be good. I look at him considering the question, because I know my answer will hold more weight for them if I think about it. “Yes, I’m ready. I don’t want to be on suppressants any longer. I’m ready to take the next step.”
They all look at me with soft expressions and I don’t know what to do with it, so I sip at my drink.
“We should probably talk about… Coming off of suppressants after so long will probably result in a massive heat, painful, and relatively quickly,” Jackson says, gray eyes fixed on me. “Do you want us to be there for that?”
I blink at him, my hanging open slightly. “As opposed to what? Living through an excruciating heat alone? You think I’d prefer that?” I shudder at the thought. While medicated I still had heats, and, while the suppressants muted some of the agony, they were still painful as hell. I don’t even want to contemplate what my first natural heat will feel like if I don’t have my alphas there to ease me.
“It bears talking about, Vee,” Ford says. “We don’t want to rush anything with you. If you aren’t ready, then we can find a way to get you through it that doesn’t include our cocks or knots.”
I whimper. He smirks. I scowl. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what, pip?” he asks all innocently, pushing away from the counter to approach me. “Talk about our knots and how much we want to bury them inside you? Have you lock us deep in your pussy? Fill you up with our cum over and over? Fucking breed you?”
I swallow thickly and glance away from him as my thighs squeeze together, trying to ease the sudden ache there. My scent blooms, perfumes. “Yes, exactly,” I mutter, before picking up my glass and downing half of it.
