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Maddox sighs again. I swear he’s sighed more in this conversation than he’s ever sighed in the thirty-two years I’ve known him. “You’re right. She needs time to process what happened. Hell, we all do. And once we’ve gotten used to being around each other, we can have a conversation about where we go from here.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to put it off,” I murmur. It’s not that I don’t agree that we all need time, it’s that I’m worried what Sadie will think if we don’t have this conversation as a pack sooner rather than later.
Maddox pins me with a look. “She’s here through the weekend, at least. We can give her time and space to get used to the idea of being an omega. On Sunday, we can all sit down and have a chat.”
It’s Friday now. I think giving our new omega that much time and space might be a bad idea. But Maddox is right that Sadie is resistant to being here, to sharing things about herself. Not that I blame her. We’re all strangers.
I’m not exactly rushing to tell her all my deepest, darkest secrets, to show her the most fucked up parts of me. I want the girl to like me… No, I need her to like me. I need her to want to bond with me, to trust that I’m safe. That I’ll take care of her.
Maddox has been watching me, probably reading my emotions like a fucking book because I rarely keep my bond to the pack closed. He knows I want to argue with him, but there’s a glint in his eye that tells me if I do, he’ll pull some prime alpha bullshit like he already did with Luca. “Fine,” I agree. “But don’t avoid her, okay? We can’t make it obvious we’re all keeping our distance. It’ll hurt her feelings.”
A furrow appears on Maddox’s forehead and his dark eyes glance at the door. I can feel him vibrating with the need to go check on Sadie, to make sure she has everything she needs, to verify for himself that she’s okay.
I smirk to myself. Yeah, he might say we’re gonna give her space, but I doubt it’s going to last very long.
Chapter 12: In which I’m reminded of how much I hate being alone
I spend the rest of the day alone. I go for a run on the treadmill in their gym, take a shower, grab a snack and then nap. The late night and bonding bite from Luca have apparently worn me down. Even then I still wake after just an hour.
When I stumble out into the living space, it’s empty. I’m pretty sure the entire place is empty.
There’s a note stuck on the fridge that just says,
Sadie, we’ve gone to work. Don’t leave the penthouse. -M
They brought me here to give us a chance to get to know each other. That is obviously not what’s happening if they can’t get away from me fast enough. I don’t know if Maddox said something last night that changed all of their minds, but I know this is not the way to get to know people.
The only thing I’m getting to know is I now have the distinct urge to invade all of their spaces, find things that carry their scent, and then take them back to my tiny little room and weave them into my dull gray blankets. It’s a struggle to not let that happen.
It would be too weird for them, and for me.
So instead I wander into the kitchen. I love cooking and baking. When I need something to do, that’s usually my number one choice. I’ve treated Sorrel and Sylvie to more home-cooked meals and baked goods over the years of our friendship than I would really care to admit.
I pull open the fridge and peer into its depths, checking what they have, pulling together a menu in my mind. Checking the time, I see there’s a few hours until dinner, which means I have the time to execute what I’m thinking.
I don’t examine why I’m trying to make such an elaborate meal as I start the puff pastry from scratch. I’m certainly not trying to impress the pack. To have them see me as worthy of being their mate… Its just that I have so much time on my hands and nothing to do since I’ve been ordered to not leave the penthouse.
Yeah, it’s just a matter of timing.
Right.
It’s been hours. Literal hours since I finished making dinner. The food has long since gone cold. I waited for as long as I could, but eventually my stomach demanded that I put food in it, so I ate some of the side dishes, alone, on the couch with the TV on and tears sliding out of my eyes periodically.
It’s nine when I finally decide to put everything away. They obviously don’t want me. I don’t even know why the hell I’m still here.
As I clear the table and put the unused dishes away, I decide I’m just going to leave. I nod to myself as I stretch up to put five clean plates back into the cabinet. There’s no fucking reason for me to be here alone. I’d rather be alone in my little cabin on the lake, with Sorrel on one side of me and Sylvie on the other. Sure, Sylvie won’t actually be there, and Sorrel always works, but at least I know they like me. At least it’ll be a familiar loneliness rather than this… stupid ache in my chest that feels a lot like rejection.
I need to leave. I need to protect myself from further pain. Further rejection.
I have no clue what they’re thinking, even Luca, who I can feel like a flicker in my chest if I think about it. Maybe since I’m their scent match, they feel a little possessive and like they want to lock me away in a tower, keep anyone else from having me. Even if they don’t want me. Maybe they think I’ll just wither away up here.
Or maybe this is what they expect of their omega? To be fine waiting alone while they go out and work. Maybe this is what they want me to do for the rest of my life.
Well, fuck that.
And fuck them.
I don’t need this shit.
