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I still haven’t seen any members of my pack… er, the pack I’m currently staying with. Not my pack. Lunch time has come and gone. The kitchen is clean once again and I’m back to being bored and ignored.
Wonderful.
After a moment’s hesitation, I make up a plate of the scones and then the cookies and head toward the voices I’d heard earlier. Luca and Maddox must be hungry, and I can at least have a quick conversation with them. Some sort of human interaction to soothe the ache in my soul from being a bonded but unwanted omega.
Maybe I can ask them to get me more flour.
My palms are unaccountably sweaty. I can’t get the way Maddox looked at me last night out of my mind, just before he slammed the door and locked it. Like it was painful to look at me. Like he wanted nothing more than to scrub me from his pack bonds.
There’s a twinge in my chest that I ignore, walking on silent feet toward the slightly open door of the office.
I only have myself to blame for what happens next. I should have kept walking, knocked gently on the door to alert them to my presence. Instead, I paused when the low rumble of their voices reached me. Ostensibly to gather my nerves, but really it’s because I want to hear what they’re talking about.
It’s their own fault for leaving me alone for hours.
“Are we done yet?” Luca asks, sounding like a petulant child. My lips twitch.
“You got somewhere else to be, Luca?” Maddox sounds pissed like always.
“Jesus, Dox. You know I have about a million other things I would rather be doing right now.”
There’s a beat of silence. And then Maddox says. “We agreed not to move forward physically with Sadie.” I frown. Oh, shit. That hurts, the verification that Maddox has ordered them to stay away from me. “We can’t do anything about the bond, but we can keep it from getting any fucking stronger.”
Oh, yeah. Fuck. Fuck. Tears fill my eyes. My throat goes tight, and I let out a ragged breath in an attempt not to sob.
“I know you think it’s going to fade, Maddox. But it’s not going to.” Once again, Luca sounds frustrated by that fact, like he regrets it.
I bite my lip hard to keep from whining. This is fine. I want the bond to fade. Right? I don’t want to be with this pack. I don’t want to be with any pack. Right? Fucking right? I can’t blame Luca for feeling the same as I do.
“What a fucking mess,” Maddox sounds weary as hell. “You bonded her without thinking, Luca. Brought someone into the pack without talking to us, without making sure it’s what the rest of us wanted. Which we all agreed is not at all what we wanted. Ever.” Maddox growls. And no matter how hard I fight it, I’m hit with such a sense of rejection that my knees crumple, making my shoulder hit the wall for support.
I know Maddox doesn’t like me or want me. I know he doesn’t want me to get to know the rest of his pack. But to hear him say it so plainly, that he doesn’t want me, hurts like a son of a bitch. Especially since my omega views him as my prime alpha, thanks to Luca’s bond.
“I know that, Dox. I know. Believe me. I am well aware I fucked up.” My heart clenches further and my eyes fill with tears. The plate in my hand wavers, a few cookies sliding off to thump onto the carpet. “But we’re stuck with her now, so we have to make the best of the fucking situation.”
Hearing this conversation right on the heels of what happened last night is the last straw.
I swallow a whine as I stumble back down the hall and to the kitchen. It’s amazing that my body can still function when I’m pretty sure my heart is gone. Ripped out of my chest. I’m like a chicken with my head cut off, that keeps living even without a vital organ in my body.
They don’t want me here. None of them, not even Luca, who bonded me without my consent. Why the hell am I still here, trying to make it work when they so clearly aren’t?
I stumble up to my bedroom and spot my bag on the floor by the bed. Thank god I didn’t actually unpack. I scoop it up and toss it over my shoulder before kicking my feet into my white Nikes.
I hurry through the apartment, making my way to the elevator. I can hear the raised voices still coming from Maddox’s office, so I’m not really concerned about one of them catching me.
Still, the minute that I wait for the elevator to arrive is probably the longest minute of my life. I let out a breath once the doors slide closed and I begin the descent to the ground floor. I pull out my phone and think about who’s best to call. My thumb hovers for a moment over my mother’s number, but I quickly disregard it, and continue down the list until I find Sylvie’s contact.
As I step out of the elevator and head across the lobby, I hit the call button and bring the phone to my ear. It rings through to voicemail and I hang up before looking up and down the street. I can’t stay here. I don’t particularly want to go home. They know where I live. And the last thing I want is for them to corner me in what is my safe space. Though, based on what I just heard, they probably won’t come after me.
I’m a situation they need to make the best of. Nothing but trouble.
I don’t have my car, and I don’t actually know where it is. Did they have someone bring it here? I glance back at the building, knowing I won’t be able to get into their private garage. They didn’t add me to the security system, so now I’m stuck out here on the street.
Fuck.
I tip my head back and look at the darkening sky. The last thing I want is to be wandering around the city all night. I’ll find a hotel and hole up there to make a plan. Which is really just going to be finding a way to get home. I already know it. It’s not like I have the ability or the need to start fresh.
Focusing on a plan helps the omega in my chest to stop hurting so much, distracting her from the rejection. Thank god it’s not a fated mate rejection. The last thing I need is to come down with Rejected Mate Disorder like Sylvie has.
