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Brahms: Tell me that you haven’t lied to anyone for the sake of others. Come look me in the eye and tell me that you’re not hiding anything from me or anyone else to protect those you love.
I stare at the phone, fear gnawing my insides. Of course I’m hiding something. Two little innocent children who don’t deserve to be a part of a conflict their father created. They just want a family, a mom and dad, and I can’t give them that. Not when there’s always some new article about Brahms being drunk or high, doing something reckless.
Brahms is sick, and until he gets real help, I can’t let the twins get close to him. Maybe that’s a crappy excuse, but the few times I tried to reach out, Roger turned me away.
Some days I wish I could just say, “Here, meet your dad.” But would that be fair to them? They’d spend their lives worried every time Brahms was in an accident or scandal. I can’t do that to them.
Brahms is right—sometimes you have to lie to protect those you love. But I still can’t understand why Iris never told me they were engaged. Or why Brahms lied about being in love with her. If I had known, I wouldn’t have crossed the line. Never. Before I can stop myself, I’m typing:
Sephie: Was I her replacement? A rebound. The woman you used to soothe the pain of losing the love of your life?
Brahms: I never used anyone to soothe the pain of losing the love of my life—you. If you’re not ready to hear the truth, at least don’t make shit up about our past, okay?
Sephie: Eight billion people are aware of your relationship with her. Your broken heart—do you know that you’re fucking broken because your fiancée died?
Brahms: And you’re going to believe what you read online? There are multiple articles of women who swear to have Zane’s legitimate son—Ellington often fights them in court because they want to claim your brother’s estate.
Sephie: What?
Brahms: You didn’t know that?
I quickly search online, and just like he said, there are several headlines about women coming forward with supposed love children of Zane’s. Is the term love children even a thing in this decade? I don’t know but this is weird. Too fucking weird.
Sephie: Why would they do that? Those are lies.
Brahms: Because that’s what people, fans, and the media do. They can claim stories and destroy lives without any of it being true.
Sephie: No one told me this is happening.
I feel blindsided. How did I not know people were dragging my brother’s name through the mud like this?
Brahms: Zane has always protected you. Why do you think you were sent to boarding school for high school? It wasn’t so you could be admitted to any college. Zane wanted to protect you. We Ehrenbergs made a pact to shield you from that world and your parents because I made a promise to Zane even before he died.
Sephie: And not telling me about Iris was to protect me?
I’m reeling, trying to reconcile everything I thought I knew. Boarding school was Zane and Brahms’s idea. What were they trying to shield me from? What else have they kept from me, and why? I feel so in the dark, grasping for answers.
Brahms: It’s more complicated than that. But I swear I never meant to hurt you.
Sephie: If Iris hadn’t died . . .
I stare at the screen, not knowing how to finish that thought.
Sephie: Would you tell me about you two?
Brahms: Who the fuck knows what would’ve happened if they were alive.
His non-answer hurts, but I push forward.
Sephie: Because you would have married her?
Brahms: Go to sleep, Sephie.
I switch topics, voicing another painful thought.
Sephie: Mom never forgave me. She left me a letter that I’m afraid to read.
Brahms: Read the letter. Maybe she did.
