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Sephie: Or maybe she left me something saying that she hates me. I won’t do it for another twelve years.
Brahms: Why then?
I hesitate, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard. I can’t tell him the real reason—because of the twins. Maybe when they’re eighteen I’ll do it. I couldn’t bear it if her last words condemned the precious lives we created. They weren’t planned, but I can’t imagine my life without them.
Sephie: Seems like the right amount of time to process it all.
It’s not the full truth, but it’s all I can admit to right now. Someday I’ll tell him about his children. When the time is right. When I’m less scared of how it could all fall apart again.
There’s so much I’m hiding, like the reason why I didn’t see Mom after she kicked me out of the house. The moment I learned I was pregnant, I didn’t want anyone to tell me that being with Brahms had been a mistake because that would’ve made my babies a mistake too.
They’re two precious, innocent gifts that brought joy when my life was falling apart. I hate that I betrayed my sister, but I’ll never regret those years with Brahms or my children. They gave my life meaning. Hopefully, when I tell Brahms about them, he will understand.
Brahms: Well, process this: when I told you that you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, I never lied. Never. You’re the only one for me, Sephie. I hope that soon we can trust each other again, open up and find a place where even if I can’t be with you, you’ll let me be a part of your life. I promise to do my damned best to get better. I accept that I’m sick, my addictions are an illness. Also that I’m doing everything I can to recover and be worthy of a second chance.
I stare at his words, heart clenching almost painfully in my chest. Part of me wants to believe him so badly—to think we could rebuild, if not our romance, at least a true friendship again. I miss him in my life so much more some days.
But the scars and doubts hold me back. I don’t know if I can stand to be vulnerable with him again. I read his promise again with a lump in my throat. I want to hope this time could be different. That we could shred the walls between us, start anew. But it would take radical honesty from us both—no more secrets or half-truths.
My fingers hover over the keys. The cautious, wary part of me warns against believing too easily. But my heart still longs for the friend I lost, the connection we shared.
Sephie: I’ll work on it again, maybe we can find some middle ground, but I can’t make any promises. My parents’ rejection and the way I betrayed Iris still hurts.
That day is seared in my head.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Seraphina
(Then)
My favorite part of the day is arriving home to Brahms after a long day of classes and work. Well, this isn’t home, but my parents’ house. We’ve been talking lately about moving into our own place. B was in talks with the band. They wanted to release some music and do some live concerts. Nothing too strenuous though. Plus, Mom and Dad would be arriving soon from the year long trip where according to Mom, they spent too much money, wasted their time and got nothing to help Dad.
“Honey, I’m home,” I called out playfully as I took off my shoes and placed my purse on the hook.
Brahms emerged from the kitchen, a smile lighting up his handsome face at the sight of me. “There’s my girl,” he said, pulling me into his arms.
His hands spanned my waist, and he leaned down to capture my lips in a kiss that immediately deepened. I twisted my fingers into his dark waves, anchoring myself against the rush of emotion and desire coursing through me. We’d been officially together for months now, but every shared moment still felt thrilling and new.
I melted into him, savoring the warmth of his body pressed to mine, his earthy, familiar scent surrounding me. No matter how stressful my day had been, just being close to Brahms helped me relax and leave it all behind.
When we finally broke for air, he rested his forehead against mine, his aquamarine eyes twinkling with affection. “Rough day?” he murmured, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
I nodded wearily. “I’m just glad to be home with you.”
“Have I told you today how crazy I am about you?” He nuzzled against my neck playfully.
I swatted his shoulder but couldn’t contain my own giddy grin. “Only about ten times.” I wrapped my arms around his neck again and pushed up on my toes to kiss him deeply.
Lost in his embrace, I didn’t pay attention to the noises around us until a loud thud made us jump apart. I turned to find my mom storming inside, her expression thunderous.
“Mom, I didn’t hear you guys come in,” I said sheepishly, smoothing my tousled hair.
My mom’s gaze zeroed in on Brahms’s arms still wrapped loosely around my waist. “Of course you didn’t. You two were clearly busy . . .” She waved a hand between us in accusation. “What’s going on in here?”
I took a subtle step back from Brahms. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you guys were coming in today. Your last email was vague. Welcome home. How are you feeling, Dad?” I asked brightly, trying to divert the tension as the nurse wheeled my father inside.
But my mother was not so easily deterred. Her lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line as she stared daggers at Brahms.
