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I want to tell her I can’t, that I’m already barely hanging on, that if I’m sitting on the other side of that velvet curtain while she’s stripping her clothes off, I just might snap. Instead, I remove my suit jacket, taking a seat on the plush sofa.
“Happy to stay.” I smile back at her, her face lighting up. I don’t know what it is about this moment in particular, this expression on her face, but suddenly a feeling of guilt hits me harder than it has during all of this. I push the feeling aside, focusing on my phone until the curtain timidly slides open.
“Do I have to go to this event?”
“Hmm?” I look up, her head poking out but her body hidden behind the curtain still. “Yes, why?”
“I just feel so uncomfortable.”
“Will you please come out here.” She tucks her head back into the dressing room, then slowly steps out. The dress she chose is black sequins. It’s tight, the neckline cutting deeper than I think she expected it to. My mouth goes dry at the sight of her, her tits on full display down to the underboob. “What’s wrong with it?”
She tugs at the front of it. “It’s just very revealing”—she looks back at how it hugs her ass—“and very, very expensive.” She gasps when she looks at the price tag. “Oh God, no.”
“Stella.” I grab her arms, stopping her. “Turn around.” I spin her so she’s standing in front of the mirror, my hands resting on her upper arms as we both look at her. “The price doesn’t matter.” Her mouth opens and I hold up a finger. “I understand you don’t like it, but it’s not an issue.” My hands slide softly down her arms. “And if this dress makes you feel uncomfortable, then don’t wear it. I want you to be comfortable.”
“Okay.” Her eyes are staring at my hand that rests against her lower belly, pressing her back against me slightly. I don’t even remember placing it there. Before it escalates, I step back, taking a seat on the sofa again.
“Continue,” I say, reaching for my phone, turning my attention back to my screen. She ducks back into the changing room, the sound of the zipper sliding down her back not missed by me.
“I think this might be the one.” She parts the curtain a few moments later, emerging between the panels and walking straight for the large mirror. I watch her spin around, the burgundy material encasing her body in a cascading river of silk. It’s understated and elegant, her body turning it into a work of art. This is the definition of the woman wearing the clothes and not the other way around. She smiles at herself in the mirror.
“Looks nice.” I turn back to my phone, not wanting to allow myself to linger. I flip through the same email I’ve read half a dozen times now.
“Nice?” She cocks an eyebrow at me in the mirror. “That looked like more than nice.” She steps down from the platform in front of the mirror, walking over to where I’m sitting. She playfully nudges my leg with hers. “Come on, you can tell me I look beautiful.”
She’s teasing me again and I could flirt back, keep the fun going, but I’m genuinely annoyed—not at her, but at myself for getting so fucking wrapped up in this woman. A woman who’s looking at me right now as if I really am her lover. A woman who has no idea the kind of man I really am.
“It’s nice, Stella.” I repeat the word, glancing up at her only briefly before turning my attention back to my screen, hoping I convey just how mundane I want it to sound.
“Okay, but do you like it?”
I shrug. “If you like it, get it.” Frustration is evident in my tone. I’m not trying to be a dick; I’m trying to avoid letting myself enjoy her. To avoid standing up so that my raging hard-on isn’t obvious. To avoid admitting to myself that I’m going to snap.
“Seriously? Just tell me if you like it, Atlas. I don’t understand the big deal?” She turns back to the mirror, her expression confused. “I thought you came here to give your input?”
I want to tell her that she looks so goddamn good I lost my train of thought, but I don’t. “It looks nice, I like it but your tits looked better in the other one. There.” I smile. “I gave you my input. I don’t know what else you want to hear.”
“Just forget it.” She rolls her eyes.
I stand and grab my jacket. “As much as I would love to stay and play these little games with you, I don’t have time. I’ll see you at the event. Be ready to leave by five thirty. Oliver will pick you up.” I walk out of the room as if I don’t give a shit because that’s exactly what I want her to think. I can’t let her see the cracks in my armor that the thought of breaking her heart bothers me.
We’re only a few days into this arrangement but already I know this is going to go one of two ways. Either I’ll give in and consume her, discarding her broken heart at the end of this year or I’ll be the one to fall and when she finds out what I’ve done, how I got her to say yes to this entire thing, she’ll be the one to break my heart.
I shower and get ready in my private office bathroom. I always keep a few suits and a tuxedo in my office en suite in case of events that take place on my downtime. I head downstairs, ducking into the back of my car.
“Evening, Oliver.”
“Evening, sir. On to pick up Miss Stella?”
“Yes.”
I’m not surprised when she opens the door with a scowl on her face. “Oh look, my knight in shining armor,” she says deadpan and it makes me laugh. Even with her brow furrowed together and her shiny pink lips in a frown, she still looks breathtaking. A nest of curls sits effortlessly atop her head, a few dangling down her neck. Her makeup is simple, her blue eyes so bright against the dark contrast of the dress they sparkle.
“I deserve that.”
“You deserve to go alone tonight.” She pulls the door closed behind her, reaching to slide her key into the lock but I reach around her and take them from her hand.
“Allow me.” I lock the door, sliding her keys into my pocket. “After you.”
