AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She’s the kind of woman I’m supposed to be with.
The second the thought enters my head, a horrible sense of guilt replaces it, an image of Stella just this morning, laughing in my arms as we made pancakes.
“Hello, Eleanor.” I slide my hands into my pockets. “What brings you by?” Her golden hair is pulled back in a tight ponytail, her all-white ensemble with pale-pink nails and matching lip gloss a classic Eleanor look. She looks good, still thinner than I remember.
Maybe dumping me did her some good.
She walks over to one of the flower arrangements that Florence placed on a table and reads the card aloud.
“Congratulations. I never thought I’d see the day. Wishing you all the best.” She stares at me, her eyes growing wet with tears that sit on the brim. “I heard you got married. I wasn’t sure I believed it.” She offers me a small smile and it pulls at me.
“Yes,” I say gently, twirling my wedding ring on my finger in my pocket. “I did.”
“Why?” she asks, her chin threatening to quiver.
“Because I fell in love and wanted to marry her.”
“We were in love once.” She flashes a quick smile.
“Yes, we were.” Silence settles between us as she turns her attention back to the flowers. “Eleanor, I told you last time we spoke?—”
“Who is she?” she interrupts, her brows furrowed as she turns to look at me.
“No one you know, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”
“It’s not,” she says quickly. I’m having trouble reading her body language, her usual perfect posture a little more perfect than normal, her jaw clenched, eyes unblinking. “Why wouldn’t you commit to me like that? That’s all I wanted.” The tears that sat on the edge of her eyes fall down her cheeks, her chin now quivering as her attempt to remain stoic begins to crumble.
I physically hold myself back from walking across the room and pulling her into my arms. I have the sudden urge to do just that, to tell her that it’s fake, that it means nothing. It’s just a means to end, but then I pause because… that’s not true. It was at first but now, now I don’t know what it is but calling it fake feels so wrong, so cruel to Stella.
“You left me, Eleanor,” I say, reminding myself that I don’t owe her an apology for moving on.
“When did you meet her?” She gently dabs her cheeks, attempting to regain her composure.
“It doesn’t matter?—”
“While we were together?” Her voice cracks.
“Seriously, Eleanor?” I shake my head. “You couldn’t get out of my house fast enough after telling me you didn’t love me anymore and now that I’ve found happiness with someone else, you show up to my office and suggest it started while we were together? Why? To give it less credibility?”
“That’s not wha?—”
“That’s exactly”—I point my finger at her—“why you said it. You want to make yourself feel better for leaving because now you regret it.”
“Yes, I did leave,” she says, walking toward me, “because I had to. For my own sanity, I had to.”
“You had to?” I shake my head. “Eleanor, you gave me no warning, nothing. I came home and your shit was packed and you coldly walked out.”
She hangs her head, fumbling with a second tissue she’s pulled from her purse. “You wouldn’t listen to me; you pushed me away, and when I tried to beg you to work on us, you pushed me away even more.”
“Pushed you away?” I feel my blood pressure spike. “How, Eleanor?”
“You were never there!” Tears start to pour down her face now. “All I wanted was a family with you and a home where I felt like I was wanted.”
I step toward her, my hands on her arms as I look down at her tear-stained face. “I’m sorry, Eleanor.” I repeat it a few more times. “I never meant to hurt you, but I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say that you feel the same.” She paws at me, trying to pull me toward her but I hold her back.
“I— I can’t do this right now.”
