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My tongue feels heavy and awkward. “Is she okay?”
“We all take turns keeping an eye on her,” Sam replies, running a slow hand over her face. “And you, of course. Carter hasn’t left your side.”
My heart misses a beat. “He’s here?”
“He’s been here the whole time. I don’t know where he is right now, but I’m sure he’ll be—”
The door opens with a thud and slams into the other wall. Carter comes in, carrying two cups of coffee. His eyes widen when he sees me, and he shoves the cups at Sam, who barely avoids having hot liquid spilled all over her. My lips lift into a half smile as Carter sinks to his knees in front of me and gathers me into his arms.
He smells like sweat and sandalwood, but it’s my favorite scent in the world.
I throw both arms around him and press him to my chest, over the hammering of my heart. Sam mutters something under her breath and leaves the room, pulling the door shut behind her. For a while, neither of us says anything as Carter continues to crouch, murmuring my name over and over.
“You have no idea how fucking worried I was,” Carter says, into my hair. He kisses my forehead and blinks back the tears. “God, dove. You had me really scared there.”
I pull back to look at him and frown. “Have you really been here for days?”
Carter nods and takes both of my hands in his. “Where else would I be? You needed me here.”
“Have you seen her? Have you seen our daughter?”
Slowly, Carter rises to his feet and drags the chair with a screech across the floor. He sinks into it, giving me a closer look at the sunken eyes, the disheveled hair, and the bruise over his right eye. When he leans forward to place his head in my lap, I catch a glimpse of the bruises peppered all over his body.
With a gasp, I press my forehead to his. “The meeting! What happened?”
“It’s not important, dove.” Carter squeezes my hand and drops a kiss on each individual knuckle. “All that matters is that you and our daughter are safe.”
“Nobody wants to tell me much.”
Carter swallows audibly. “They had to take her out early, but she seems to be doing fine. She’s so little.”
I draw back to look at him, and my stomach tightens. “Is… is she…”
Carter grips my hands tighter. “I don’t know, but they’re doing everything they can. I was with her when Tristan came to find me. They’re supposed to bring her down.”
I frown. “Won’t it be too dangerous?”
Carter shakes his head. “We’ll figure something out. You’ve already missed her first few days in the world. I know you don’t want to miss any more.”
I place a hand on Carter’s face and sniff. “I’m so sorry, Carter.”
Carter’s brows draw together. “Why are you apologizing? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I was thinking about you and the meeting, and the doctor told me I should avoid stressful situations, but I just couldn’t…”
I hadn’t been able to stop worrying about Carter, having to face all those enemies at once.
And the thought of another Donahue out there in the world, lurking and waiting to strike, had sent me into a frenzy. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to rise above it.
But I can’t ignore the guilt churning in my stomach, especially when the door opens, and they wheel our daughter in, lying fitfully in a large incubator. As soon as I’m close enough to lean sideways, I burst into tears and press my hands to the glass. Wave after wave of emotion washes over me as I struggle to breathe through the tears.
She’s impossibly tiny, and she’s got wires hooked up to her body, making her look even more fragile.
Carter drapes an arm over my shoulders, and I tuck myself into his side. But even the smell and feel of him can’t comfort me.
It’s only when Carter helps me snap on my gloves and I shove my arms through the holes that some of my worry lifts. I want to hold her to me and feel her flushed pink skin against mine, but I know I can’t. So I continue to lean forward and study every last inch of her, trying to commit it to memory.
Still, I can’t ignore the vicious voice in my head telling me that I could’ve prevented this. Could I have done anything differently?
