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“I’m sorry, bean,” I whisper in a thick voice. “You’re not going to be in there for long. We just need you to hang in there, okay? We’re right here. Mommy loves you so much.”
Carter presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’m going to find you something to eat.”
Once Carter leaves, Sam comes in, and I take one look at her face and burst into another wave of tears. My shoulders are shaking so violently that I can’t hold myself up, and Sam has to help. She wipes away a few of her tears but says nothing. Exhausted and spent, I sag against the mattress, but my eyes don’t leave her.
I’m afraid that if I blink, she’ll disappear.
“She shouldn’t be in there,” I murmur after crossing my arms over my chest. “This is my fault.”
“It’s no one’s fault, Isabella,” Sam tells me with a frown. “It’s a stressful situation. Of course, you were going to react to it.”
I press my lips together and swallow back the rest of my sentence. I don’t expect Sam to understand.
How can she?
Carter comes back in with Anita hot on his trail. She gives me a quick and gentle hug and pats my head. Then she loops her arm through Sam’s and leads her out into the hallway, where Tristan and Paul are standing. The two of them offer me a small wave through the glass, but I can’t even muster up a forced smile for them.
My heart feels heavy.
Until Carter pulls his chair up next to me, places one hand on the incubator, and uses his free hand to lace his fingers through mine. “Have you given the name any more thought?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“She needs a name,” Carter urges in the same even voice. “You told me that you liked Hope. I like it too, and I think she should have more than one middle name.”
“Oh?”
“We could also consider Teresa as a name. Sam and Anita could be her middle names.”
I sink back against the mattress and try to ignore the flutter in my chest. “You remembered my mom’s name.”
Carter nods and gives me a small smile. “Of course, I did.”
“What about Speranza? It means hope in Italian.” I stifle a yawn and blink back the burn in my eyes. “Or is that a little too much?”
Carter’s smile grows wider. “I like it, but let’s talk about it some more after you’ve had a chance to rest. You’ve had an eventful day.”
I shake my head. “What about the baby?”
“Paul and Tristan will keep an eye on her in the NICU,” Carter assures me, with another kiss on the forehead. “And I won’t be far. Get some sleep, dove.”
My eyelids grow heavier and heavier as two nurses come in to wheel our daughter out. I watch them take her out into the hallway, with Carter following close behind. When they round the corner and disappear, a single tear slides down my cheek. I rub my eyes, pull the covers up to my chin, and throw my head back.
Sam and Anita come in together and take up seats on either side of me. I offer them both a sleepy smile before I succumb.
My last thought before I drift off is of Carter and our daughter. And how much I hope the three of us have many more moments together.
I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Carter
I pull out the chair opposite him and drum my fingers against the table. “I don’t have a lot of time.”
Daniel takes a sip of his coffee and grimaces. “I understand. I don’t know how you’ve been living off this shit. It’s terrible.”
“It’s a hospital cafeteria,” I point out, my eyebrow climbing up. “I’m sure you didn’t call me so we can compare notes about the coffee.”
