AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Relieved,” I reply after what feels like forever. “A little sad.”
***
Isabella
I ignore the knots in my stomach. “Do you regret any of it?”
Carter lifts his gaze to mine, and the fierce look on his face takes my breath away. “Not even for a minute. You and our daughter are worth it. You’re worth every sacrifice and everything I’ve been through to get here.”
I lean forward and look down at her sleeping and angelic form. “She’s perfect, isn’t she?”
“She is. You were right, dove. You were right to push me to do better for her and for you. You were fucking right all along.”
I look up at Carter, whose eyes are glistening with tears. “I’m proud of you, Carter. I know it can’t have been easy for you to walk away, especially after how much energy and effort you put into everything.”
Carter’s free hand darts out, and he takes my hand in his. “I made the right decision.”
Not only had he walked away in the middle of a negotiation, where he was being pummeled to death, but he’s also agreed to the biggest deal of his life. I know that Carter is still processing everything in that quiet, reserved way of his, but I’m also relieved he came to me after.
The old Carter would’ve gone out to find other ways to process his feelings. And I would’ve been left here, wondering which version of him I was going to get.
For the first time since returning to me, Carter seems at peace, and everything from the relaxed set of his shoulders to the tender way he’s holding our daughter makes me feel hopeful. I feel better about the future than I have in a long time.
Quietly, Carter hands me the baby back and stands up. He clasps his hands behind his back, and his expression turns solemn. “I need to talk to you about something.”
“Let me put her down.” I lean sideways and gently set her down in the crib. Then I look back up at Carter, who is eyeing both of us carefully like he’s trying to drink everything in without missing it. “What’s wrong?”
“I had a lot of time to think when you were… asleep.” Carter sits back down and takes both of my hands in his. “And before that, too. I’ve had a lot of time in general, and I thought about everything you said.”
My stomach clenches. “You make it sound like a bad thing.”
Carter’s lips lift into the ghost of a smile. “It’s not… unless it is. I’m not sure.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Okay, you’re scaring me a little. What’s going on?”
“Walking away from the empire wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Well, once I was able to convince myself it was for the best, that is.”
I squeeze his hand. “I know it wasn’t easy. I really appreciate it.”
Carter sits up straighter and squares his shoulders. “But it’s not going to be enough. Not being the head of the empire doesn’t change who I am, and it isn’t a magical fix for my demons or the monster inside of me.”
I frown. “I don’t understand.”
Carter releases my hands, stands up, and blows out a breath. “There’s always going to be this darkness inside of me, this monster that thrives on chaos and destruction. I thought that walking away would end him, but it hasn’t. I don’t know if anything will.”
I link my fingers together to stop the tremor, but it’s too late. Carter has already seen it, and I know what he’s thinking. But I’ve never doubted my safety around him, and I don’t think he’ll hurt our daughter.
Carter’s darkness isn’t aimed at the people he loves, only at anything that threatens his family or his empire, and I understand that.
I’ve known that about him since the first day we met. And all I want is for Carter to keep his monster on a shorter leash.
It’s a small consolation to know he is working on it, but he’s right to worry about whatever is festering inside of him and how it can manifest in other ways. I glance over at our daughter, and I frown as a million possibilities race through my mind.
Including the kind of danger she’d be in if Carter’s monster got off his leash and went off in search of blood.
“When you left… after Rich tried to take you away… you told me that you were thinking of leaving me and raising our daughter on your own to provide her with a good life away from everything.”
I frown. “Yes, but I couldn’t leave you, Carter. I won’t.”
