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In silence, she helps me to my feet and hovers in the doorway to the bathroom while I change. Through the slit, I see her clench and unclench her hands. Then, I splash cold water on my face and grip the edges of the sink. After changing into a clean shirt and a pair of jeans, I come out of the bathroom and lean against the nearest wall.
Sam drapes an arm over my shoulders and gently guides me outside. The house smells like cinnamon and ginger, and it makes my stomach grumble.
Anita does a double take when she sees me, a spatula held in her hand. She lowers her hand and gives me a bright smile, her whole face changing. “I’m so glad you’re finally up, Isabella. I was making something for us to eat. Do you have any preferences?”
I lick my lips. “I’d love some of that soup you gave me the other day.”
Anita nods eagerly. “You got it. Why don’t you and Sam sit outside, and I’ll have Tristan bring over a tray?”
Sam steers me in the direction of the double French doors, overlooking the lush green backyard with a high wall and barbed wire around the fence. When she stops to slide the door open, I pat my hair down and grimace. Slowly, Sam leads me outside, pausing only to retrieve two foldable chairs. She sets them down in the middle of the garden, in an area where the sun is bright and shining, then takes me there.
I sink into the chair, some of the tightness in my chest unfurling. “How long have I been here?”
“Five days,” Sam replies before sinking into the chair opposite mine. “Tristan and I moved into your room upstairs to help Anita. I hope that’s okay.”
I sit up straighter and tilt my head back, allowing the sun to warm the bridge of my nose. “I don’t want to stay in that room anyway.”
Not when it’s going to smell like Carter, a living, breathing reminder that he’s somewhere else. Somewhere that I can’t go.
Thinking about him makes my stomach dip, but I can’t help but wonder. Is he missing me like I’m missing him? Or does he finally feel free to pursue another dove, someone who hasn’t been broken by the chaos?
Knowing that I don’t have blood on my hands only makes me feel slightly better, especially when compared to Carter’s reaction after.
Was I always going to lose Carter to the truth? Are he and I only meant to exist in the shadows of his life amid the darkness and destruction?
Sam leans forward and takes my hand in hers. “I’m glad you agreed to come and sit outside. You look better already.”
I snort. “I look awful.”
“I can help with that. Do you know that I used to work at a hair salon?” Sam brightens at the memory, and her lips lift into a smile. “I won’t be able to do as good of a job as if you go to a professional hair salon, but I was in that business for years.”
“You never told me that.”
Sam shrugs, and some of her expression dims. “There’s nothing to tell. It was another life, and I was another person.”
I lower my head and look directly at her. “Do you hate me for dragging you into all this?”
Sam gives me a surprised look. “Is that what you think? Isabella, you didn’t drag me into anything. I wanted—I still want to be your friend. I made the decision to stay, just like you did.”
A lump rises in my throat. “You don’t feel like I pressured or tricked you into any of this?”
Sam pushes her chair closer and reaches for my other hand. “Not at all. If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing. I kept pestering you and sticking my nose where it didn’t belong.”
I give Sam the barest hint of a smile. “I like that you did that. It made me feel less alone.”
“You’re not alone, Isabella,” Sam insists, shifting even closer to me. “I know things are confusing with Carter right now, but you have other people in your life who care about you.”
I open and close my mouth several times. But I can’t force the words out. How can I?
Saying them out loud is as good as admitting that they’re true, and the last thing I want is to spiral into another meltdown because I can’t handle everything.
Fear settles into the center of my stomach. “I’m afraid that Carter isn’t going to come back. If he really believes those things he said… that I somehow forgot to replace the implant on purpose. What’s to stop him from leaving me?”
“He loves you, Isabella. I know that Carter and I don’t see eye to eye, and I’m not exactly giving him a ringing endorsement here, but I’m big enough to admit when I’m wrong. He does love you.”
I search Sam’s face, the pressure in my chest building. “What if love isn’t enough?”
Sam pauses, a myriad of emotions dancing across her face. “Then you’ll both figure out something that works. No two couples are the same. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but I do believe that the two of you have been through a lot together.”
