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Selfishly, it’s what I need right now.
Sam exhales and perches on the edge of the bed. “Isabella, please, it’s been weeks. I’ve tried to be patient, and I’ve tried to give you your space, but this really can’t go on.”
I curl onto my side and draw the covers over my head. “So leave then. No one is making you stay.”
Sam’s sharp intake of breath makes me realize I’ve said the wrong thing.
I throw the blankets off and sit up straighter. “No, wait, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Sam stands up and clasps her hands behind her back. “Yes, you did. You absolutely meant it like that, and I have to accept it whether I like it or not.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re beyond my help, Isabella.” Sam throws her hands up, and her expression tightens. “You want to sit in bed and feel sorry for yourself, go ahead and do that. Just don’t expect me to sit around and watch.”
“Fine.”
Sam stiffens. “Fine.”
Without waiting for my response, she spins on her heels and throws the door open. It bangs against the wall with a thud, and moments later, I hear voices blending together. Then the front door opens and bangs shut. I throw myself back against the mattress and bury my face in my hands.
What have I done?
Sam is one of the few people I have left in this world, and a part of me knows she’s trying to help, but the other part of me doesn’t want her to be here.
As helpful, patient, and considerate as she’s been, looking at her every day, day in and day out, for the past few weeks has been hard. Because every time I’m around her, she reminds me of what I can’t have and the life I’ll be forced to leave when Carter returns.
If he ever comes back.
Sam and Tristan mean well, but they have everything Carter and I don’t. And I hate the pit that burns in the center of my stomach whenever I see them.
Someone raps on the door, so I remove my hands and tilt my head to the side. Anita hovers in the doorway, a bowl of soup in her hands and wisps of ash blonde hair escaping from her bun. She gestures to the bed, and I nod. Slowly, I sit up and prop myself against the pillow. Then I busy myself with smoothing out the edges of the blankets, all to avoid her knowing gaze.
Chapter Sixteen
Isabella
“Sam will be back.” Anita sets the bowl down on the nightstand next to me and perches on the edge of the bed. “Even sisters fight.”
I twist a loose thread around my finger. “We’ve never had a fight like this before.”
Anita sighs. “Things have been tense. A lot has happened to both of you. It’s a lot of change. It’s okay if the two of you need a minute to adjust.”
I keep twirling the loose thread and look up at Anita’s kind face. “How are you so sure she’s going to come back?”
“She might be mad at you or upset even, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you anymore. It doesn’t just go away overnight or after one fight.”
I sniff and stop twirling the thread. “It did with Carter.”
Anita reaches across the bed for my hand. “Sweetheart, Carter still loves you. I know it. Just because he needs some space to figure things out doesn’t mean how he feels about you has changed.”
I search Anita’s face. “What if it has?”
What if I have no family left outside of the baby growing inside of me? How am I going to do any of it on my own?
It’s one thing for me to decide to leave Carter and raise the baby on my own, a decision I had gone back and forth on several times. It’s another thing entirely for Carter to leave me behind and leave me questioning everything between us.
Of all the scenarios I imagined, being confined to Anita’s house and dreading the outside world wasn’t one of them. I hate how weak and dependent I am, mostly because I know the baby deserves better.
