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Anita squeezes my hand. “If Carter doesn’t love you anymore, then I trust he’ll do the right thing, and he’ll come back, and he’ll tell you.”
A single tear slides down my cheek. “And he’ll kick me out, and the baby and I will have nowhere to go.”
Anita frowns. “Isabella, you know me well enough to know that I don’t turn my back on family. Even if things don’t work out between you and Carter, it doesn’t mean you aren’t still one of us. You and that baby will always have a place here with me.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat.
Anita drifts closer and takes my other hand in hers. When she smiles, it’s full of so much love and understanding that I can’t help but smile back.
“But we’re assuming the worst-case scenario here,” Anita continues in a softer voice. “And I don’t know about you, but I like to stay positive.”
“It’s been hard to do that, especially lately.”
Anita leans forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. “Well, of course, it has, sweetheart. You’ve been through a lot in the past few months. You’ve been kidnapped, abused, tortured, threatened, and you’ve lost your dad. Going through any of those things is enough to break a person, but look at you. You’re still standing.”
“Barely,” I whisper before averting my gaze. “Sam is right. I shouldn’t be cooped up in here wondering if Carter is ever going to come back and not living my life in the meantime.”
“Isabella, if you want to stay in here until you’re ready to face the world, you go ahead and do that,” Anita responds in an even tone. “No one else has the right to tell you how to grieve or what you need to get yourself back up again. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or the baby, you do what you need to do.”
I swing my gaze back to hers and clear my throat. “So, you’re not going to tell me to get back out there?”
“Not until you’re ready,” Anita assures me with another maternal smile. “You take whatever time you need, and when you’re ready, we’ll be here.”
Some of the knots in my stomach loosen. “Thank you.”
I want to believe that Anita knows better since Carter is her nephew, after all.
But knowing that I won’t be alone, no matter what happens, makes me feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Anita, Tristan, and Sam aren’t a substitute for Carter.
No one could be.
Yet a part of me clings to the belief that when the going gets tough, I won’t be cast out into the cold with no family, no job, a baby, and a target on my back. Even if Carter turns his back on me, I doubt his enemies are going to let me slip through their fingers. Not if there’s even a slight chance of being able to get to him.
A tremor races through me, and I try to shove the thought away.
Anita stands up, goes around the side of the bed, and draws the cover back. When I give her a confused look, she doesn’t say anything as she climbs onto the bed. Then she tucks me into her side, drapes the covers over us, and strokes my hair.
Being this close to her is both strange and familiar.
Anita has been nothing but welcoming and kind since the first moment I laid eyes on her, but with everything going on with Carter and the war, I didn’t want to dwell on it. Accepting that she’s extending an olive branch because of Carter is one thing. Realizing that she genuinely cares about me is another, and I haven’t had a motherly figure in my life since my mom’s passing a few years ago.
I can’t even remember the last time I felt this way about anyone. And the thought brings tears to my eyes.
Since my father’s illness, I’ve been so focused on keeping him alive, on getting us from one day to the next, that I lost sight of myself along the way. Trying to keep my head above water hasn’t been easy, but I never regretted the sacrifices I had to make or the price I had to pay.
But it does make me wonder about the kind of path I want my own daughter to take.
Because I don’t want her to lead a half-life, and I don’t want her to be so busy surviving and hustling that she forgets about what really matters.
I release a deep breath and push myself closer to the Blackthorne family matriarch, the smell of freesias and cinnamon wafting up my nostrils. “Thank you for this. I… I didn’t realize how much I needed it.”
Anita continues to stroke my back. “From the moment you walked in through that door, I knew you were special. Not just because Carter has never brought anyone else home, but I could also see it in your eyes, and the way you looked at him, and how nervous you were about making a good impression.”
I sigh. “Yeah, I was, wasn’t I?”
Anita chuckles and runs her fingers through my hair. “Love makes us do crazy things, Isabella. God knows I didn’t picture my life turning out this way, but now that it has, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
