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“I figured as much.”
Sam’s lips lift into the barest hint of a smile. “I did get you something to make up for it.”
With another smile in my direction, she ducks out of the room and returns with a few shopping bags. Carefully, she spreads them out so they cover every inch of the bed. Then she pulls a chair out and sits down, pausing to fold her hands in her lap expectantly.
I burst into giggles. “You know you didn’t have to do any of this, right? You already got me a lot of clothes when I was in the hospital.”
More than I know what to do with. The baby has more clothes than Carter and I combined.
Sam shrugs. “I heard that babies need a lot of clothes, so I figured it can’t hurt. Also, I got this online job. It’s not much, but I like the freedom and autonomy it gives me.”
I sink into my desk chair and push it closer to her. “That’s amazing. How come you didn’t tell me sooner?”
Sam looks away and sighs. “I know things have been weird between us, and I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“I’m sorry about the other day, too. I knew you were just trying to help. It’s just that…”
Sam glances back at me, and her expression is soft and open. “What is it? You can tell me. I promise I’ll do my best to be supportive.”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do any of this without Carter. It feels like I’ve been drifting without him, and he keeps me tethered.”
Sam doesn’t look away from me as she leans forward. “Isabella, you know it’s a two-way street, right? Relying on the people you love isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength, and you’ve definitely made Carter better.”
“I have?”
Sam nods, a smile hovering on the edge of her lips. “I’ll deny this if he ever asks me directly, but yeah. He’s not as much of a pain in the ass anymore. Even Tristan sees the difference.”
I frown, her words like a punch in the gut. “So, why won’t he come back? Why won’t he talk to me?”
Silence stretches between us.
Sam glances over her shoulders and then back at me. “Tristan hasn’t told me anything, but from what I’m getting, it’s because he doesn’t feel ready to come back.”
“He feels trapped,” I whisper, my voice catching towards the end. “I know I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard. I really didn’t mean to get pregnant, you know.”
“I know that, and so does Carter. He just needs to get his head on straight.” Sam stands up, and her hands flutter at her sides. “I know you’re tired of hearing this, but I do actually believe he’s going to come back. And in the meantime, you and I can spoil the baby rotten.”
I give Sam a genuine smile. “I think we passed that point already.”
Sam shakes her head. “Absolutely not. We still have to discuss which school she’s going to go to and which classes she’ll be taking.”
“Classes?”
Sam throws herself onto the mattress, pushing some of the bags onto the floor. “Yeah, I think she should practice some kind of sport, maybe gymnastics. I used to love it when I was a kid.”
“I’ll love whatever she loves,” I reply faintly. “Honestly, I’m having a hard time looking that far ahead.”
Sam waves my comment away. “It won’t always be like this. Have you given the names any more thought?”
I shrug. “Not really.”
Because as much as I love Sam, she and I both know that Carter is the one who’s supposed to be here.
He and I should be pouring over self-help books and scouring the internet for information. And he and I should be discussing schools and the kind of schedule our daughter is going to have.
Sam stands up when my laptop starts pinging. She stretches her arms up over her head, then bends down to touch her toes. Reluctantly, I push my chair closer to the desk, and my hand hovers over the mouse. Before I can maximize the screen, Sam bends down to give me a one-armed hug, and she lingers.
I want her to stay for much longer than the whole minute. Because I’m afraid of being left to my own devices.
