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He can enjoy his night, and I can sulk in self-pity, alone. There, the decision is made. I’ll sneak out the back, send a quick text to SJ to tell him I’m okay and going back to his parent’s place.
Maybe I’ll make a brief stop to grab a pint of my favorite ice cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, and a bottle of wine. Wine and ice cream always make a girl feel better, and that’s exactly what I need right now.
What I don’t need is to stay in this bar another minute. I pull open the bathroom door and walk down the short hallway that opens up to the main floor. I still see SJ at the pool table, with Jennifer right beside him. Her arm is wrapped around his, and SJ’s head is thrown back with a full belly laugh leaving his throat.
I guess she’s pretty and funny… Urgh… I look down and check the status on the Uber. Five minutes away. Freaking perfect.
I head over to the bar to grab one last shot and to close my tab. “A shot of Patrón, please.” I hardly ever drink because of the very limiting diet I stay on when I’m dancing. But I don’t need to worry about that right now, hence the shot and the ice cream planned for later.
I down it in one go, then I turn back toward the pool tables in the back where SJ is. I find his eyes on me, and that fills my chest with that now familiar warmth I feel whenever I’m around him.
My smile is a little forced, but I must do a good enough job of convincing him I’m okay, because he turns his head back to something his friend Dre is saying. While he’s distracted, I slip off of the bar stool and head out the exit just to my left. I pull up the app on my phone and see that the car is here and waiting for me just as I push the door open to the outside.
If I stop and tell SJ I’m leaving, he’ll insist on coming with me, and I just can’t stomach that right now. Do I want him to leave with me? Hell yes, of course. But do I want him to want to leave with me, more? The answer to that is a resounding yes, and I don’t think my heart can handle the indecision I know I’ll see on his face if I ask him to leave.
So, I save my heart and make the choice for him. He can be pissed at me for leaving without telling him later if he wants. If he was so worried about it, he would have stuck with his charge, but right now, I don’t care. Right now, I’m too hurt to be worried about my stalker and too damn mad at myself to care.
The chilly night hits my face as I blink furiously to clear my vision. I could blame it on the change from the bar lights to the almost non-existent streetlights, but I know that’s not what blurs my vision.
I will not cry. I won’t fucking do it. There is nothing to cry over. He isn’t mine, and he won’t ever be mine. I see the black four-door sedan waiting for me at the curb, and I practically run toward it. Well, as much as you can with a broken ankle.
When I fling the door open, the sixty-something year old man in the driver’s seat jumps. Shit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. You’re…” I look down at the app to verify his name because I’ve already forgotten in my haste to get out here before SJ saw me leaving. “Ed?”
“That’s me, and you must be Nora.” Ed smiles, and something about his calm demeanor puts me at ease. He looks like someone’s grandpa.
“Yes, sir. Can we make one stop before going to the address I put in?” I cross my fingers and hope he says yes. I really want that ice cream and wine.
“Anything for the pretty young lady. I just need you to put the address in the app,” he says without a care in the world.
I sigh in relief as I search the nearest convenience store and hope like hell it’s still open in a small town like this.
I cheer when I find one just down the street that’s still open, and it looks like it will have what I need. Ed chuckles at my excitement as I quickly type in the new address and look up from the back seat of his car.
“Okay, done,” I say.
He looks at his phone and pushes a few buttons. “Okie dokie, looks like we’re ready to go, young lady.”
My stomach pitches forward with the car as it takes off from the bar. A sinking feeling settles deep in my bones. I’m just not sure if it’s from what SJ might be up to back in the bar or me leaving without his knowledge and being unguarded.
I ignore the feeling as I sink down into the plush leather, set on pushing out any thoughts of SJ or my stalker and especially my guilt over leaving without a word.
Chapter 25
SJ
Where the fuck is she?
My heart pounds in my chest as I scan the bar where she sat only moments ago. She isn’t fucking there. Dre is in the middle of telling me about the new job he just started, but I can’t pay attention to a word he says. I walk away from the conversation without a word or backward glance. My heart rate pounds in my ears so loudly that I can barely hear anything else.
Maybe she went to the bathroom again.
My feet take me to the short hallway leading to the bathrooms, but a hand on my bicep stops my progress. I look down at the hand and then over to the face belonging to the hand. Jennifer.
It’s been great catching up with everyone, and Jennifer was one of my closest friends in high school, but something doesn’t feel right. It isn’t the same as it was back then. I used to have a big crush on her, but when I look at her now, I feel nothing but a platonic kinship. She’s still sweet, funny, and drop dead gorgeous, but I feel nothing beyond a friendship.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, concern lacing her tone.
“I’m looking for Nora. Excuse me.” I rush off to the restroom before she can respond, but stop short when I reach the women’s swinging door.
