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I’m surrounded by SJ’s things, his memories, and lying in the bed he slept in for years. It’s wreaking havoc on my nervous system after how earlier tonight went. I grab a pillow and roll over to lie on my stomach, stuffing the pillow under my chest to get more comfortable.
Em: I am now. I had another nightmare.
I sigh. My heart hurts for my best friend. I know her struggles, even when she does a brilliant job of hiding them from the rest of the world. Even from her parents and siblings.
Me: How bad was it this time?
I’m almost scared to ask. As far as I knew, she wasn’t having them as often, but maybe she just stopped telling me. It just shows that I’ve been so self-absorbed with all this stalker bullshit that I’ve been a shitty friend to her.
Em: Ehhh, it wasn’t the worst, but it sure as hell wasn’t roses and sunshine.
Me: I wish I could make it better for you.
Em: You do, and you have, just by being there for me.
I smile at her response. I’ve tried to be there for her the same way she is for me. Her situation is heavy and damn near impossible to navigate, but she does it every day. Every day, she shows up and fights.
She shows that same fire for her friends, too. That’s why she had such a vehement reaction to when SJ showed up. She read him his rights, even though he easily has a hundred plus pounds and eight inches on her. She didn’t blink, and she didn’t back down. It’s one thing that I love most about her.
Me: I’m sorry. I wish I was there so I could hug you.
I can’t hug her, so I bury myself in the pillow instead.
Em: Don’t be. Enough about me. What’s going on? Why are you up so late?
I start to type out my response, but it feels so juvenile after knowing she’s having the nightmares again.
Em: How’s it going with that hunky bodyguard of yours? Do you hate Shitter Creek?
I bark out a laugh at her renaming this cute little town. I honestly didn’t have high hopes for this place, but I’m pleasantly surprised so far. Well, except for fucking Jennifer.
Me: It’s not so bad. It’s cute and quiet. Two things I didn’t know I would kind of enjoy. Def different from Queens.
Em: You better not leave me for some small-town Podunk, everybody-knows-their-neighbor bullcrap, Nora Reyes!
I bark out another laugh. This girl.
Me: Calm your tits. I said it was nice. That WAS IT. I wouldn’t do that to you.
Em: I’m not so sure…
Me: GASP! WHAT! I love you too much to leave your hot, Cheeto-loving, stinky feet, closet snuggler self.
Em: MY FEET DO NOT STINK!!!
Me: Ummm…kay!
Em: They don’t! Stop trying to distract me. I see how you just skipped right over the hunky bodyguard bit.
I groan. Even though I texted her for this very reason, I have cold feet now. I don’t know why. I tell Em everything. Well, everything except the whole stalker thing, because I knew she would lose her mind over it, and I didn’t want to add to her worry.
Em: Spill it.
Me: No…
Em: Yes…
Em: I already know. A best friend always does, so you might as well get it off your chest and stop turning your ring incessantly. Your poor little finger is going to fall off.
