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After a few minutes of inspection, I picked a beautiful one he’d carved out of reddish wood and polished to a high shine, trimmed in gold detailing. “Can I have this one?”
He beamed. “That’s one of my favorites. It’s made from cocobolo. They’re great to work with, but the wood is getting harder to acquire. Excellent choice.”
“Are you sure?” I held the pen in my hand, turning it in my fingers.
“Perfectly sure.”
I thanked him profusely and headed inside where Hugo and Soren were sitting on the couch talking, while a TV show played in the background. When I came in, they stopped talking and looked at me.
“Mind if I join y’all?”
Soren shook his head and patted the couch next to him. “Not at all.”
“Yeah, come get interrogated,” Hugo added.
I laughed and grinned. “Should I be nervous?”
“Only if you’re hiding something,” he said with a wink.
“I’m… good then.” I took a seat and draped my arm casually over the back of the couch, behind Soren. “What are you two talking about, anyway?”
“Soren was just telling me about your wedding day, since I wasn’t able to be there to witness the blessed event myself.”
I glanced at him and his cheeks turned pink once again, though not nearly as deeply red as they had been that morning. “Oh? Hopefully he was telling you about all my hard work to make it happen.”
Hugo shook his head. “Actually, no. He was telling me about the ceremony itself, with the vows and your friends and parents as witnesses and your amazing officiant. He didn’t mention any of the prep work. Tell me everything.”
I gave him a quick summary of the way I’d pulled it off in about a day’s time, omitting some of the key details that would’ve given us away. “And then we got married,” I said, wrapping up.
“You’re a good one,” he said. “I’m glad my brother picked you.”
I couldn’t stop the heat that built on my cheeks then, spreading down my neck and up my ears. When I spoke, my voice was quieter, more tender than I’d intended it to be. “I’m glad he picked me, too.”
Chapter Ten
Soren
Our flight home was early the next day, Sunday morning. Getting up early and saying goodbye to my family felt surreal. I’d hugged my parents and Hugo, trying to commit every last detail to memory, because a part of me felt like everything was about to change, like I was standing on the edge of a cliff from which there was no turning back. Levi hugged them, too, Mom insisting on the affectionate gesture, and it pulled at a knot deep inside my chest when I saw her wrap her arms around him and murmur, “Welcome to the family.”
By the time we’d sleepily boarded our second flight of the day, I had the gnawing feeling that I wouldn’t be able to hold my feelings in much longer. We chatted aimlessly about nothing in particular, which was good because my mind was distracted, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the pull I felt toward him. He didn’t seem to notice that anything was different, that I had anything distracting me. Instead, he carried on talking about work and the theater and his kickball team like we were old friends—or old lovers—while I nodded along, trying to keep up.
As Levi talked, I found myself watching his lips move, thinking about my growing feelings of attraction to him, unable to shake the memory of that dream I’d had two nights prior. It was all starting to become a lot swirling around in my mind and I knew we had nearly fifty-one more weeks to make it through without things getting weird between us. My stomach hurt just thinking about it.
Levi faced me, his back to the window, as was becoming our norm for flights. It helped my flight anxiety so much I couldn’t help but find it endearing. “So I was thinking, when we get back, I want to get into the Radiance to see if I can start helping, maybe in the evenings after my regular jobs, at least until my schedule clears up and I can get a crew over there. Does that sound okay to you? It doesn’t have to be tonight, but the sooner the better.”
My heart raced in my chest and my breathing tightened, the words on the tip of my tongue. “I had a dream about you,” I blurted.
He furrowed his brow and tilted his head slightly. “O… kay.” A small smile formed on his lips. “Do you… wanna tell me about it?”
Heat rose on my face, crawling down my neck and up to my hairline, my ears burning, and I was sure I was flaming red. I dropped my gaze to my lap and fidgeted with my fingers, picking at my fingernails mindlessly. “I don’t know,” I mumbled. The dream had been tame enough by dream standards, but it had still left me with an erection and a deep ache in my gut that I couldn’t identify. In the dream, we’d held each other and kissed, and as the kiss deepened, I’d known I was ready for more. That’s when I’d woken with Levi standing next to the bed, grabbed a pillow to hide my unmistakable hard-on, and bolted from the room.
“Well, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He touched my knee lightly and when I looked up to make eye contact, he pulled his hand back. “I don’t want to make anything weird. Is everything still okay? Are we still okay?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head and waved one hand aimlessly, not sure what else there was to say.
Levi nodded as if he understood everything and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Everything in me was drawn to him, like we were magnetized toward each other. My hands trembled in my lap. I closed my eyes briefly but all I could see was Levi, even with my eyelids shut. I could see the way he looked when he laughed and the way he looked fresh out of the shower, long hair dripping and face flushed. I could see the way he looked at me and the way he looked when he got home from work, sweaty and smelling of sweat and oil.
When I opened my eyes again, he was still watching me with his gentle blue eyes full of concern, a crease between his eyebrows. His lower lip was shiny and damp and he hadn’t shaved in three days and the concern in his eyes was so very sincere. I couldn’t believe I was having an identity crisis at thirty-five. I felt like I was starting all over again somehow. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know what to do.
