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And then when her health declined, she would ask me to sit with her and watch her favourite show. The one that made her laugh until she was breathless. New Girl. Watching this show, filled with crazy characters in ridiculous situations, held us together in her last weeks, allowing us to still feel joy among the sadness. And then, the day before she passed away, taking a piece of my heart with her, she gave me her single most important bit of advice: Find a girl just like Jessica Day. Someone with a heart of gold, who can laugh at herself, who puts people first and whose beauty isn’t just skin deep.
In the days after she died, I walked the school halls in a daze, feeling sad and empty, but also so grateful for the time I got to spend with her. And on the third day, when I was missing her keenly, I looked down the hallway and saw her. Natalie. The girl who I’d always had a little crush on was walking towards me with a halo of light around her. She was wearing a blue sweater that made her bright blue eyes glow, her dark hair was cascading around her face and down her shoulders, and her black-rimmed glasses were slipping down her nose.
In a flash of certainty, I knew she was the one. She even looked like Jessica Day. My nanna was right. This is the girl I should be with. And so, feeling my nanna’s spirit all around, I’d smiled and winked at her and called her New Girl. In the weeks and months after I’d tricked her into helping me study, even though I didn’t need it, my crush bloomed into something powerful and I was devastated when she abruptly cut me out of her life.
Being young and dumb, I’d thought that I’d find that feeling again. I was arrogant enough to assume that fame and success would equal happiness and that I’d surely find another girl like her, someone who caused my heart to go pitter-patter with just one smile. And believe me, I tried. The Playboy image wasn’t made up by the media, but it never happened, the relationships never clicked. It was like I was holding my breath, not knowing what exactly I was waiting for. And then fate, in the form of a painfully dislocated shoulder, brought us back together, and I knew that there would never be another girl for me.
“Here we go!” Ryan pats my shoulder as the string quartet starts playing, and all eyes turn to the back of the chapel.
Natalie is going to hate being the centre of attention. She only barely tolerates that as the girlfriend turned fiancée of the captain of the national soccer team who miraculously made it to the quarterfinals of the last World Cup. But I think she can deal with it for one day, if it means that we finally get to call each other husband and wife.
I watch, my breath locked in my lungs, as Amy and Bianca make their way down the aisle. Both of Natalie’s friends look beautiful in their light blue dresses, picked with each woman’s preference in mind. It’s just like Natalie to make sure her friends feel comfortable and special on her wedding day.
Bianca winks at me before taking her place as maid of honour on the altar, and I swallow thickly. This is it. The music swells and our friends and family all stand up as the doors of the chapel swing open again. And standing there, between her mum and her Yia-Yia, is the most radiant bride I’ve ever seen.
Natalie looks like an angel, a vision in white, as she floats down the aisle, her eyes locked on mine. My nose tingles with unshed tears and I blink rapidly, not wanting to miss a moment of her walking towards me. Walking towards our future.
“Hi,” she whispers as I grab onto her hands, a way to steady myself.
“You are beautiful.”
Her smile is wide. “Thank you.”
I turn to her family, her mum and grandmother, who are both wiping their eyes, and envelop them in my arms. “I will look after her.”
Yia-Yia pats my cheek. “We know you will.”
With their blessings given, I turn back to the woman who laid claim to my heart all those years ago and who has never let it go.
“I can’t wait to marry you.”
She giggles. “You won’t have to wait too much longer.”
The celebrant clears her throat and we turn to pay attention. The sooner this part is done, the sooner I get to call her my wife.
“Natalie, I believe you’ve written your own vows.”
She nods, her hands shaking slightly as she takes her note cards from Bianca. I can see that they’re colour-coded and neatly printed out in blue glitter pen, and I suppress a laugh. Once a nerd, always a nerd.
“Matthew,” she begins in that melodious voice of hers. “We met as teenagers and a friendship grew from nothing more than a boy pretending he needed a tutor.” The congregation chuckles, and I give them a bashful smile. “You captured my teenage heart back then, and unbeknownst to me, you never really gave it back. And once you re-entered my life, again under the pretence of needing me, I realised I didn’t want you to give it back. That you, Matthew Barkly, are the man I want to be with, the one I want to spend my forever with. You are the kindest, most generous, most real person I’ve ever met and I’m grateful every day for the light that guided you to me. Both times.”
She smiles up at me, both of us reflecting on our shared belief that it was my nanna who brought us together, and I love her just a little more for including her on our special day.
“Matthew,” she continues, her eyes sparkling behind her glasses. “I love you more today than I did yesterday. Thank you for noticing me. For loving me just as I am. For being the man I want to spend all my tomorrows with. I can’t wait to be your wife.”
She finishes her vows with a slight hiccup, trying to hold back her tears, and I can’t help myself. I crush my lips on hers, kissing her now the way I know I’ll be kissing her forever.
“OK, you two.” The celebrant claps to get our attention. “Let’s try to stay on track. Matthew, I believe you have some vows you want to share with Natalie.”
I pull the crumpled notes out of my jacket pocket and Natalie rolls her eyes at me; her need to have things orderly is making her eye twitch ever so slightly at the sight of it.
“Natalie. My New Girl. A wise woman once told me to find a woman just like Jessica Day. A TV character written in such a way that the task seemed impossible. How could one real person possess all these qualities: a sense of humour, the ability to laugh at themselves, and a drive to live life to the fullest? Someone who is brave and clever, but also selfless and empathetic. Someone who loves wholly and completely. Someone who is achingly beautiful. When I was tasked with finding such a creature, I thought it would never happen. And then I met you. Natalie, you are all these things and so much more, and every day I find something new to love about you. You are the reason I wake up in the morning and you are the person I want to share all the rest of my days with. Thank you for choosing me to be your husband. It is an honour and a privilege that I will never take for granted.”
Natalie gives up on stemming her tears and lets them fall freely down her cheeks as she reaches up to plant the softest of kisses on my lips.
“That was beautiful,” our celebrant says, wiping at her own tears. “And it gives me great pleasure to announce here in front of all your loved ones that you are husband and wife. Now you may kiss the bride.”
Not needing a second invitation, I swoop Natalie into my arms and kiss her. Her lips meet mine with a sweet urgency that I’ll always savour.
“Thank you for being my husband,” she whispers as we break apart.
I hold her close. “And thanks for being my girl.” I kiss her again before whispering in her ear, “Forever my New Girl.”
The End
