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Nox laughed. “That’s bonkers and I’m going to need you to dial it back, Merlin. We don’t want any of that and you’re scaring Nelson,” he said and Nelson chuckled wryly.
“Surprises scare Nelson. Why didn’t you warn us last night?” he demanded from Merlin.
“Because I think you two should!” Merlin clapped his hands together, staring at Nelson with lustful appreciation. “You were clearly built for it and the desire to rut and mark him would be at its zenith because this is Imbolc! The omens of spring favor the hatchling and the calf and signal the end of an old cycle. It is the season of the rising of the sun!” he explained, with an excited hop, making Nelson grimace and lean away.
“You definitely need to calm down. I don’t want to see Nox like that again so I’d like to know why it’s happening.”
“If I had to guess…” Merlin began dramatically.
“Do you really have to guess?” Nelson interrupted, but Merlin flapped a hand and hushed him.
“There is a reason they called it la petite mort1. For a brief moment, our souls detach from our bodies and hover in that liminal space. That is where we’ve always been most attractive and most vulnerable to godly manipulation. Who do we often cry out to, just as we’re falling into that sweetest of deaths?”
“That’s it?” Nelson stared at Merlin. “That’s the trick?”
“It’s the oldest trick and it’s always worked for the gods,” he said with a mischievous grin at Nox. “That is why you can’t resist each other and why Nox acts like he’s in heat. Because he is.”
Nox shuddered and pulled his coat tighter. “Not at the moment,” he said under his breath, causing Merlin to click his teeth as he reached and cupped Nox’s cheeks.
“I feared you might experience some lingering effects or a withdrawal.”
“I’ll be fine.” Nox tried to pull away but Merlin held firm.
“I hope you paid attention, that may be the only peek you get unless you’re ready to grab your bull by the horns and chance another ride.”
“What do you say, Nelson?” Nox asked silkily and bit into his lip. “I’m down to give it another shot if you are.”
“Stop it.”
1 La petite mort (Lah pe-TEET mor): Literal translation from French is “The little death”- the brief loss or weakening of consciousness, a euphemism for an orgasm.
Sixteen
There wasn’t much time to dwell on how far over the line Merlin had crossed during the short trip to Healy Hall. Nelson didn’t appreciate being misled by Merlin or manipulated by a god, but his instincts warned that everyone—Julian, Merlin, Clancy, and even Nox had been withholding vital, terrible pieces of the puzzle.
In Nox’s case, Nelson could at least understand why. He didn’t know what he would do in Nox’s shoes. There was no way of knowing what was at stake if Nox succumbed to his fate and if he had what it took to save humanity, if the Dagda wanted to end it. Nelson would probably want to opt out too if there was a chance he could dodge that fateful bullet and lead a normal life.
And Nelson finally understood Julian’s motives. They were so horribly misguided, and an utter waste, because he’d done it all for unrequited love. Someone had manipulated Julian’s bitterness into something toxic that had poisoned him and everyone he loved.
But Nelson couldn’t make heads or tells of Merlin and Clancy. He’d grown to admire and respect both men and trusted them. For inexplicable reasons, Nelson was particularly fond of Merlin and secretly enjoyed his “little” lessons. That’s why it made Nelson’s gut ache and burn whenever his brain told them that they were somehow involved and that it was their hands pulling fate’s net tighter around Nox.
Why?
That was the wall that Nelson ran into every time a clue led him back to one of them. He did not doubt that either man couldn't love Nox more. And Nelson believed that they were both so devoted to Nox’s happiness and safety, that he couldn’t fathom a single reason for them to conspire against him.
If he had that one good motive, one good reason why, Nelson could easily believe one of them was capable of being the puppet master and creating all this confusion around Nox and the investigation. He just couldn’t figure out why either of them would do it or how they’d live with the betrayal.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked when he parked in front of the school and got Nox’s door. Campus security was used to the sight of the Continental and no longer hassled Nelson about using one of the parking lots.
“Ready for Walt? He’s a little grumpy, but I can handle him,” Nox teased, making Nelson snort as they walked.
“I know you can handle grumpy and I’m sure you’ll be fine. It’s the rest of the day I’m worried about.”
“I’m a little worried too,” Nox conceded slowly, staring at the polished tiles in front of them. “I can feel what you’re feeling and it does seem like something’s just around the corner, waiting for us, or we’re walking into a trap.”
Nelson stopped him, looking around to make sure they were alone. The period didn’t end for another ten minutes and aside from the distant murmurs of lecturers, the hall was quiet.
“Why walk into it, if you sense it’s there?” he whispered, making Nox shrug.
