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“Depends on what we’re talking about. But in regards to the investigation, I’d always prefer to be the target and I learn more about this ‘Badb’ from every trap he sets.”
“Okay, I get that.” Nelson tapped Nox on the center of his chest. “What about the other trap? The one you’re ignoring.”
Nox’s lips fluttered as he shook his head. “It’s a different kind of trap, isn’t it? I know that once I’m in this Badb’s trap I can get out and that I can win against him. I will,” he stated, then let out a thin, nervous whimper. “I spent some time in that other trap and do you want to know what I saw? What’s waiting for me?” His voice had cracked and the panic and desperation Nelson saw in Nox’s eyes stopped his heart.
“What did you see?”
A watery laugh burst from Nox and his hand shook as it covered his mouth.
“I saw my father, Nelson! He’s what’s waiting for me!” He squeezed his eyes shut, chanting under his breath that it hadn’t been real before continuing. “How do I fight something I’d give my soul for? How, when there’s a voice in my head singing that you and I could be with him now? We could trade all of this pain and evil for an eternity of peace and joy!” He didn’t hide his frantic yearning and shivered as he drew closer. “Who set that trap, Nelson? I can’t tell if it was Him or me, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight it.”
“Jesus!” Nelson tried to stop him before he could say it but Nox’s finger rose.
“In this case, the Celtic equivalent would be Cernunnos,” Nox said, triggering another memory. They were in the woods in New Castle, coming down the path from the crime scene.
“You mentioned Cernunnos the first night in New Castle, when we saw the young stag.”
“Did I?” Nox’s gaze swept upward and he nodded slowly. “I think I recall that.”
He was lying but Nelson didn’t want to upset him even more this early in the morning.
“It probably isn’t important. Remind me again, who’s Cernunnos?” He turned them and gave Nox a nudge to get him moving again.
“He is similar to Pan and the Roman god Dis Pater. Cernunnos is the Lord of Wild Things and a peaceful god and guardian of nature.” He cleared his throat as he watched his feet, once again nervous and avoiding Nelson’s scrutiny. “Some scholars describe Cernunnos as the son of the Dagda. And he is often called ‘the horned one’ and depicted with antlers or as a horned serpent.”
“You don’t say.” Nelson would make a note to ask Merlin about it later. He decided to change the subject before he got more upset. “Tony’s so laid back. I can’t picture him getting along with Walt if he’s stuffy and grumpy.”
“We get along,” Nox argued with a suggestive smirk.
Nelson bowed his head, smiling. “We do and that is a fair point.”
“Walt and Tony are like night and day but they’re best friends. It’s funny,” Nox said, pausing in the breezeway. “Tony looks up to Walt like an older brother and Walt would do anything for Clancy. It goes without saying that I look up to Clancy. I’m with you all the time now and you even said that Clancy spends most of his time in one of the safest buildings in the US. But Tony and Walt are soft targets. If you wanted to hurt one of us, you could do a lot of damage with an indirect hit here at school.”
“That is an interesting way of looking at that…” Nelson would definitely add it to his list of motives for the attack. “I can’t help noticing how many times you said Clancy’s name, though. He’s in the middle of this again.”
“Might I point out…” Nox held up a finger again, making Nelson bite back a grin.
He loved when Nox did that because it was his Nox’s silly habit. Nelson kept track of how many times he did it throughout the day. Two hash marks would go at the bottom of the pages from their meeting with Walt. Nelson tallied them up each evening when he was reviewing his notes before bed with his tea. Most nights, it was those moments and Nox’s teasing smiles that Nelson returned to in his dreams.
“Please do,” he said, nodding at Nox.
“It could be his proximity to me and the fact that he and my dad were that department. Especially Clancy. I inherited my parents' love of teaching as an act and an art, but Clancy taught me how to teach. The first rule in Clance’s bible: thou shall respect and revere thy teaching assistant for thou shall not survive without them.”
“I agree, he wouldn’t be likely to attack someone he respects and reveres—” Nelson started but Nox cut him off.
“Clancy wouldn’t attack anyone,” he snapped with a hard sneer.
Nelson halted them and searched Nox’s face and checked his eyes to see if they were clouded with doubt and frustration or golden and glowing. “It’s my job to protect you and ask scary questions.”
He held Nox’s gaze until he nodded and laughed. “I know. But Clancy’s protected and defended me my whole life. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. It doesn’t make sense that he’d undo everything he and my parents did to give me a shot at a normal life and a long, satisfying career.”
“I understand,” Nelson said, nodding and gesturing for Nox to continue.
Nox was a nesting doll of conflict. So many of those shells had been created by Merlin and Clancy and buried underneath them, and at Nox’s core, he was most conflicted about who he was. He was fighting so hard to hang onto the family he had left and yearned for a “normal” life with Nelson. That was why Nelson didn’t shake Nox or yell at him for being stubborn or reckless, because all he wanted was to be a kid in love. But his fate was already creeping in and snatching memories like lockets and stealing bits of his free will.
“Did Clancy have any other golden rules for assistants?” he asked and Nox’s lips pursed as he stared over Nelson’s shoulder. “Hey,” Nelson said, dipping his chin and swiping his lips against Nox’s, cherishing his delighted gasp. Merlin was right: every kiss was magick and Nelson wanted to be a kid in love too. “You were saying?”
“Do you want to visit my orifice, I mean my office?” Nox mumbled, his lips tilting drunkenly as he swayed closer. “I don’t think you’ve seen it since I took out the sofa.”
