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Doug shook his head.
Pixie was giving him entirely too much credit. He’d become a cop for two reasons, neither of which were altruistic. The first was because Uncle Frank was on the local department, so it was easy to get a job. The second was because it had seemed like a good solution toward never becoming anyone’s victim again.
He knew that when he’d first started on the department as a patrolman, he hadn’t been concerned for anyone’s wellbeing but his own.
His uncle, always sharp and engaged, had quickly seen the disconnect between Doug and the public they served, and had forced him into therapy, thank God.
Doug had, of course, completed a shrink-stint when he was younger, because that’s how caring his aunt and uncle were. But he hadn’t made a connection with the woman they’d procured for him…probablybecauseshe was female. Doug had one-hundred percent never let his guard down enough to invite her into his head. The therapy had eventually dwindled, then died.
He'd managed to hide his messed-up shit during his high school and college years. Which had served him well until after graduation when he started working closely with Uncle Frank. It quickly became apparent to the chief that all Doug had in mind was keeping himself risk-free by using his badge as a shield, and the ultimatum had been laid at Doug’s feet. Seek more help or receive his walking papers.
Doug had reluctantly agreed, and with incredible luck had stumbled upon a man whose specialty was abuse victims. Doug had begun seeing Dr. William Verosha, an extremely astute individual who was only twelve years Doug’s senior. Will, as Doug now called him, had not only managed to reach down and haul Doug out of his mental hole, but in the ensuing years had become a good friend and confidant; keeping Doug on solid ground with sage advice, which included nudging him in the direction of MECASA.
Doug felt that his life had slowly come back on track; his empathetic side gradually being resurrected, but… He still had a deep suspicion of all things female, and Will was fully aware of it.
Therefore, despite Will having full knowledge of the things that still triggered Doug, wasn’t it funny that Doug hadn’t brought up Pixie’s name in the sessions they now sporadically scheduled?
Doug might have to rethink that. There might be something to be gained in bringing Will up to speed regarding Pixie.
But first Doug needed to set Pixie straight on the cop/hero thing she’d just thrown at him. It definitely wasn’t him, even now. He cleared his throat and took the plunge.
“You’ve got me all wrong, Pixie. When I became a cop, I didn’t give a shit about anybody but myself.”
CHAPTER SIX
Pixie sure wasn’t going to let Doug get away with that.
“Bullshit,” she asserted. “I’ve seen you interact with people in public. At the two restaurants we went to in our time together,” she clarified. “You did some small things that let me know you have an eye toward the comfort and wellbeing of, well, everybody.” She held up her hand and, one by one, bent down her thumb and fingers. “You held the door open for a stranger who had her hands full with three kids. You helped clean up the fall-out from a tray that one of the waitresses dropped. You got a to-go meal for one of your neighbors who’s a shut-in, and you tipped way more than the customary twenty percent.”
When she was finished, only her middle finger remained standing, which she waved in his direction.
Doug looked at it and laughed. Actually laughed. And wasn’t that a sight Pixie would gladly soak in for the rest of her life.Damn.If cheeky would get her this side of Doug, she’d have to up her game. He was handsome as sin on a good day, but smiling spontaneously? It made him a freaking god.
Still, she needed to be cautious. Her boldness would have to have boundaries. Not only was she rusty in the self-confidence department; not all that comfortablebeingoutspoken thesedays, but Pixie sensed, from Doug, that becoming too assertive would have him walking away.
“Fine. You got me,” Doug admitted, still chuckling. “But understand, this is all pretty new behavior for me. I was an asshole for a long time previous to seeking…professional help.” He winced, like he thought Pixie would think less of him for being in therapy. She quickly disabused him of that idea.
“I have a therapist, too,” she offered. “I don’t think I could ever have stepped foot outside my parents’ home if I hadn’t found one. Dr. Bright has been my life-line for sixteen years. She’s the reason I dared go to college, take a job teaching, and braved going out with you.”
That seemed to be a big revelation for Doug. “You…told her about me?”
Pixie, once again, channeled her old, impish self. “Well,duh. What was I supposed to do? This cute guy rushes in, saves me and my students from a mass-shooter, then stays by my side while everything gets sorted. That doesn’t happen every day, and I was intrigued. With aman. Which was not like me at all.” She shrugged. “I needed to know if my interest was hero-worship, or if I was drawn to him for his stellar personality, so I brought my questions to Dr. Bright and laid them out.”
Doug snorted over the “stellar personality” quip. But his voice, when he spoke, was gruff. “What did she say?”
Pixie held Doug’s gaze. “She told me I was a grown-ass woman with a serious mistrust of men, and that she’d never once, in all our years, been able to ‘shrink’ it out of me. That if I felt a spark toward you, it was damned well pheromones, not hero-worship.”
Doug’s lips quirked up again. It seemed he liked her explanation. “Pheromones, huh?” he repeated.
“Yeah. Which I guess means you must smell good to me, or some such baloney. But it doesn’t matter. What it boils down tois, even though you were a jerk and dropped me like a lava-rock, I still liked you.”
“Well.” Doug’s face became a study in thoughtfulness. “I guess that explains it for me, too, then,” he allowed.
“Explains what?”
The man really was a conundrum.
“Why I can’t stop from being drawn to you. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m far too toxic to start any kind of…thing with such a nice woman, but I can’t seem to help myself; wanting to be near you. Now I know. It’s gotta be the way you smell.”
